Michael Myers

Michael Myers Brings Halloween to My Yard.

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Why hello there! In case you’re wondering why “Short Horror October” isn’t in the title, it’s because you’ve stumbled into a bonus post. I’ve been decorating for the season, you see, and I did promise that I’d share! I’d rather not mix “decor tour” with Short Horror October, though, so I decided (at the last minute) to post the decor tours off-schedule. Welcome to Halloween decor tour 2021, front-yard edition.

It’s very simple.

You might remember that Michael Myers appeared in my front yard last year. WELL HE’S BACK. I hauled all of his parts onto my patio and put him back together last Friday, October 1st, and let me assure you that he fought me every step of the way. He’s heavy and awkward and difficult to dress and maneuver – it’s impossible to dress him in his suit after assembling him; you have to dress him during the assembling process, I learned the hard way, and it’s quite a tricky business – and he’s a lot larger than I am, as you’ll see in the pics below. I’m not an extremely small person, mind you. I recently found out that I’m somewhere between 5′, 3″ and 5′, 4″ these days. (Remember when I was 5′, 5″? Yeah, so do I.)

Then I hauled him over to this year’s spot at the front of my driveway. His iron base is heavy, but still, I weighed the plate down with a set of 30-pound dumbbells.

October 1, 2021: The Day He Came Home
[pic taken on October 3, 2021; photo credit: Kyle Schobloher]
NOTE: I’m on his left. His eyes are looking to the right.
NOTE: Two days later, I’m on his left again as I take his picture. But this time, his eyes are looking… directly at me.
At. Me.

Tell me that doesn’t look like an actual person in there!!

I don’t know what sorcery this is, but it’s something, because Michael Myers, himself, hasn’t moved. His head and face are positioned just as before. His eyes behind the mask, though. GAH!

I mean, you can see in these pics that he was looking to the right when I was standing on his left, and then to the left when I was still on his left when facing him. I guess he was designed with a clever built-in optical illusion aspect to make it appear that his eyes are following you…? It works. Wherever the camera is, that’s where he’s looking. He’s always watching you.

Later, I was on the phone with Mom, trying to explain Michael Myers to her, and I finally summed it up by saying: “Long story longer, he appears in the yard and just stands there and stares, and that’s why it’s creepy having this mannequin dressed up as Michael Myers standing in my yard. He stands there and watches you.” Because for me, the creepiest scenes in the 1975 classic Halloween are the ones wherein Jamie Lee Curtis looks out the (classroom; bedroom) window and sees Michael standing in the distance, just staring at her while the Halloween theme song plays.

As far as I’m concerned, the essence of Halloween is Michael Myers.

And that’s why I love having him here. What’s the point in being the neighborhood weirdo cat-lady if I don’t have Michael Myers standing in my front yard during Halloween season to re-create that chill?

Good night to you – or good day! – my spooktacular friends.

Oh! I almost forgot to post this pic of the other Halloween decor I’ve got going on in the front:

The wreath of the moment courtesy of the Goodwill, plus this skeleton/ghoul dude I’ve had for years. See? Simple.

Okay, now I’m out. Until tomorrow, when I return with Short Horror October, post 2!

Oh, Michael. “Lane 9” (Short Horror October, post 7)

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It’s Saturday night on the 24th of October. Halloween is one week away. Saturday the 31st will arrive under a full moon, and a full moon in Taurus, no less – our first Taurus full moon on All Hallows Eve since 2001. I can already feel and rejoice in the charge of this powerful, impending full moon that will oversee 2020’s ancient celebration of Samhain. What a magical thing to occur in the middle of a pandemic that’s stolen most of our year!

And I’m feeling it. Every day is Halloween for the next seven days. To start, I finally got Michael Myers where he needed to be. It was somewhat of a journey for him that started in my living room one week ago, as you’ve already seen (unless you haven’t):

Greetings.

Michael was originally going to come to work with me, but that idea went horribly wrong when I tried to put him in my car in the dark of night on my dimly lit street. The length of him fit in the car from the very end of the trunk to the front seat, but I couldn’t get his heavy base all the way in and his leg detached from his pelvis as I struggled with him, so when I finally gave up, I had to wrestle him out of the car backwards with his slippery leg dangling loose inside his thin, slippery mechanic’s suit and I eventually managed to get my left arm around his torso and my right arm up in his crotch so I could try to grip his butt that was the only remotely grippable thing on him and extricate him from the trunk that way while I prayed the neighbors weren’t watching the spectacle of me wrangling with a body in the trunk of my car, and just then, his head fell off and rolled a little ways toward the sidewalk. I gathered him up as best as I could and dragged him to the front of the car, and that’s how I found myself looking down at a partially dismembered and decapitated Michael Myers lying on my driveway in the white glare of the motion-sensor lights above the garage door, and I was done dealing with him for the night. I left him there.

You’re welcome, Jamie Lee Curtis.

The next morning I brought him into the house, undressed him, and detached his remaining limbs before I dumped the lot of him on the bed in the spare bedroom with no plan for him whatsoever. I was on my way to work, and he wasn’t coming with me. I hadn’t thought about his future beyond that original idea.

He was probably more comfortable here than on the driveway.

One week later, he’s standing in front of the house looking out at the street, as Michael Myers does.

He came home.

I moved Michael in a little closer to the door, figuring that a post further away from the driveway would make things more daunting for the fool who considers stealing him.

Honestly, I’d be amused to see anyone try to take Michael. Their attempt would surely end in the same frustration that befell me. His limbs don’t lock on tightly; if you hold him the wrong way while moving him, they fall off. He’s about 6′, 3″ when he’s attached to his base. He’s slippery, bottom-heavy, and ungainly.

He has one job: greet the mail carrier.

For tonight’s brilliantly crafted horror short, I wanted to share Lane 9 with you. In addition to being done very well, it’s one of the most original films I’ve seen. This is Lane 9, Gore score: 1. Run-time: 14:52. Settle in for 15 minutes of some truly unique horror content!

The end… until Tuesday!

Mannequin shenanegans + “Vexed” and “The Cost of Living” (Short Horror October, post 5)

That Asian-Looking Chick 4 Comments

As of a sort-of collab with my friend, there is, as of today, a mannequin dressed as Michael Myers standing in my living room.

 

Michael Myers in the house

 

He’s nowhere near as creepy as the mannequin without the mask, though, in my opinion.

 

Maskless mannequin

 

This mannequin is just a little too intense for me with that piercing stare. You have to be standing in front of it at my height in order to fully appreciate this. I was relieved to put the Michael Myers mask over its head! I’ll be further relieved when I get the mannequin to its final destination in the next day or two. For now, I’ve got Mr. Myers standing in front of the living room window.

Nenette was very suspicious just now when she walked out to the living room to inspect him, but she wasn’t too spooked. I have a little video that I took of her doing the inspecting, but it proved to be too large when I posted it here – it takes up too much space on the screen. You can’t see the top and bottom of the video without scrolling up and down, and then what’s the point? So I’m thinking that maybe I should post my videos to YouTube so I can share them here the way I do the short horror films.

Speaking of, I have two for you tonight. Have at it!

The first excellent horror short is Vexed. I’m not going to say a word about this one, because anything I tell you might ruin it for you. Gore score: 1. Run-time: 12:59

 

 

This next one’s called The Cost of Living. I wanted to include a film in the genre that it represents (you’ll soon know which one that is), and it’s less than five minutes long, so it’s a good complement to Vexed. They’ve got it labeled as a horror comedy. Honestly, I don’t see the comedy in it, but you might! Gore score: 1. Run-time: 4:27

 

 

Farewell for now, my friends!