It was mid-September 2023 when I became aware – because two family members brought to my attention as soon as they found out – that long-term benzodiazepine usage could result in early-onset dementia. My nightly very-low-dose of Klonopin helped me to sleep for years. Without it, I would go to bed, lie down, and have a panic attack. My anxiety led to insomnia and nightmares. Kpin knocked me out. It took just a tiny crumble of a dose, and I (perhaps miraculously) never developed an addiction. How wonderful it was, though! How well I slept! But I was about to marry a man considerably younger than myself, and I knew that I needed to do everything possible to spare him a wife with early-onset dementia. I decided to quit Kpin immediately.

I contacted my shrink right away and let him know that I wanted off of Kpin. Thus began my odyssey of benzodiazepine tapering-off, a process that took months. With professional guidance and in accordance with the printed schedule given to me, I very gradually weaned myself off of the drug. Referring to the schedule with studied diligence, I applied myself to the effort even as the year continued with its onslaught of challenges. It was especially difficult in the wake of the death of Nenette, my cat, but I soldiered on.

To start me along on my tapering-off journey, my doctor prescribed Trazodone, a non-narcotic sleep medication. I took it one time, and never again. It didn’t help in the slightest with my anxiety-induced insomnia, and I felt foggy in the brain for hours the next day.

Next, I tried melatonin for a short while. It was even more dissatisfactory. I could feel it working to make me sleepy, blissfully so, but at the same time, my restless legs went from occasional and mild to every night and severe. It was maddening and absolutely inconducive to sleep. When I looked up melatonin side effects, a worsening of restless legs was on the list. Next.

I did some research and visited a local dispensary, where I made an educated choice. I brought home a low-THC/high-CBD product, cut each gummy into four slivers, and ate just one each night. It might have worked just enough, but not enough that I felt that the gummies were worth the expense. Not enough to be conclusive. I didn’t want to take more than a quarter of a dose at a time. I planned to look elsewhere for a solution once I finished the container.

At that point, turning my attention to yet more natural remedies, I started using lavender body lotion at night and spraying my side of the bed with lavender room spray. No improvement. The therapy part of “aromatherapy” just wasn’t enough.

I started wearing an eye mask, my comfortable old gel-filled sleep mask that I’d rarely used. It was lovely, but it didn’t help much, either.

Camomile tea, then, I thought. I’ll continue with the lavender products and add a cup of camomile tea to my nightly routine. Still no significant improvement, yet I felt that I was getting somewhere. The tea was definitely soothing.

Something was missing from my developing regimen. What could it be? What could extinguish the rafting clamor of thoughts in my brain as I tried to fall asleep?

White noise might work, I realized.

Kyle had a Google Nest Mini that he said would play nature sounds upon command. He unearthed it from the box whence it was stashed, and we set it up next to my side of the bed. I instructed it to play ocean sounds. It did. That same night, after drinking my camomile tea, I ventured to boost my aromatherapy game and deposited a drop of pure lavender essential oil to the top of my eye mask, on the inside. I ditched the lavender spray and used the lavender lotion on just my hands, which I can take or leave on any given night (it’s not an essential component of the combination).

And lo, my friends. Hallelujah! That did it. The magic combination yielded results that night with no ill effects, and the next night, and all the nights thereafter. The deep scent of lavender works with the calming effect of the camomile tea, and, most importantly, the ocean sounds white noise lulls me to sleep, my eyelids heavy beneath the gel eye mask that blocks any ambient light in the room.

I’ve finally arrived at my perfect sleep-inducing trifecta. 

Now I just need to work on getting to bed earlier, as always. That was always my struggle, benzo or no benzo. Maybe one day I’ll have found a way to master this, though I don’t think there’s really a fix to being an inherent night owl.

If you’ve made it this far in your reading, thank you. I wanted to share my experiences in benzodiazepine-tapering and also in disordered sleep, namely insomnia, in hopes that my story will help even one of you. Not to mention, I’m so grateful for this combination solution to insomnia – relaxing herbal tea, aromatherapy, and white noise – that I didn’t want to keep it to myself. For me, it’s a godsend of a sleep package.

Enjoy your week and stay safe and healthy, my friends. Good night!