Before I get started, I want to give a shout-out to @proselfdefence for sharing my post in the Arts & Entertainment section of The Martial Arts Daily. Thanks, guys!

In other blog-related news, I finally updated my “About Me” page. I admit I’d been avoiding it because of the “…we have two cats, Ronnie James and Nounours” part. Updating the page was painful, but it’s done, all shiny and current. I also added new category links in my sidebar [**points to the right**] in an attempt to organize this body of content, so you can check there if you’re looking for posts on specific topics.

Now that the blog house-keeping updates are out of the way, I can focus on the shameless frivolity that’s the subject of this post. (“Shameless” is my favorite kind of frivolity.) If you fellow pop culture fanatics are curious about my thoughts while watching the 2016 Golden Globes last Sunday, read on.

[Thoughts during the pre-show interview with Leonardo DiCaprio]:

• Alejandro González Iñárritu actually dragged his cast around the world – including to the southern tip of Argentina – so as to be able to constantly film The Revenant in the snow and the freezing cold? DiCaprio should win. Also, great film, The Revenant.

[Thoughts during the main event]:

• Kate Winslet collects the ceremony’s first award, and she’s already delivered the most poised acceptance speech of the night… even though she seemed genuinely shocked that she won!
• Not to be mean or anything, but is Jane Fonda aware that her dress looks like it should be covering a Kleenex box in Great-aunt Lottie’s bathroom?
• YES Maura Tierney wins for The Affair!! She deserves it, and not just for that awesome scene where she’s drunkenly singing “Changed the Locks” in her underwear.
• OH NO HE DID NOT. (Quentin Tarantino)
• Jamie Foxx: “OH YES HE DID.” (In so many words. Okay, in one word.)
• Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt’s skit while introducing The Big Short – LOL
• Aziz’ fake bookcover about “Losing Graciously to Jeffrey Tambor” hahaha!! Aziz is hilarious.
• Why didn’t Aziz win for Master of None?? ROBBED.
• So that’s what they mean when they say someone is “dripping in diamonds.” (Helen Mirren)

 

 

• Helen Mirren gets more beautiful every year. How is that even possible. #AgingGoals
• YES Lady Gaga wins for American Horror Story: Hotel!!
• What is this music? Why aren’t they playing American Horror Story’s awesomely weird and creepy, noise-infused main title sequence tune as Lady Gaga goes up to the stage? This is the music that identifies AHS:

 

 

• Totally impressed with Lady Gaga’s graciousness and humility in delivering her acceptance speech. It’s all the more endearing in contrast to her fabulously eccentric and commanding music persona. I LOVE HER.
• (Madonna is probably so chagrined right now)
• Of course the James Bond song wins for Best Song.
• Um… is Ricky Gervais bringing the same glass of beer every time he comes up to the podium, or is he on his fifth beer?
• Mr. Robot won over Empire?! NO.
• The hell… The Martian is a comedy? Did I miss something? Did I fall asleep during the part that was so hysterically funny that the whole movie had to be classified as a comedy?
• DENZEL! DENZEL!! Apparently we’re not the only ones who call him, simply, “Denzel.” Love that Tom Hanks pointed that out.
• This montage of Denzel’s work is really beautifully done.
• Denzel seems speechless accepting his Cecil B. DeMille Award, but still… DENZEL!
• YES Sylvester Stallone wins for Creed!!
• YES Taraji P. Henson wins for Empire!! COOKIE!!  

 

 

• Hahaha Tariji handing out cookies on her way up.
• Where is Ricky Gervais’ glass of beer?
• Matt Damon wins “Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy” for a movie that isn’t a comedy. I’m a big fan of Damon’s, but in my opinion, Steve Carell should have won for his role in The Big Short.
• Did they classify The Martian as a Comedy so Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio wouldn’t have to compete with each other for Best Actor in a Drama? Because they both deserve Best Actor awards. But so did Steve Carell.
• Come to think of it, I wouldn’t have classified The Big Short as a Comedy, either.
• Maybe the definition of “comedy” has changed and we didn’t get the memo.
• YES and BRAVO to Alejandro González Iñárritu and Leonardo DiCaprio for their awards for The Revenant!!
• Aaaaand The Revenant wins Best Motion Picture! Well-deserved. We saw it last month, and we couldn’t believe how DiCaprio wasn’t even recognizable by the end of the movie. You know it’s a great performance when DiCaprio no longer looks like DiCaprio.

[/thoughts]

NOW.

While I’m here, I just want to take a minute to see if I’m getting this straight:

In 2000, there’s a movie starring an actor with comedic acting roots. He plays a character who meets disaster during a storm, and he ends up marooned on a deserted island. He must try to survive physically, mentally and emotionally. He befriends a volleyball named “Wilson.” Wilson the volleyball is the actor’s co-star. The movie is labeled a Drama.

In 2015, there’s a movie starring an actor with dramatic acting roots. He plays a character who meets disaster during a storm, and he ends up marooned on a deserted planet. He must try to survive physically, mentally and emotionally. He meets disaster upon disaster until he’s finally saved in a hair-raising, dramatic rescue mission. The movie is labeled a Comedy.

You’re drunk, movie-classifying people. Get a Lyft and go home.