I used to check my blog search terms on a semi-regular basis, just out of curiosity. Today it occurred to me that I hadn’t done it in a while, so I went to my stats page to take a look. What search terms/phrases are currently leading people to my blog?

People still land here when they search for Asian porn and the Asian chick in Orange is the New Black. They’re now coming here when they search for the “chick in the aflac commercials” (since I wrote about the AFLAC duck, apparently).

Other common draws: Jack Reacher, cruelty-free products, vegan products, and movies. Garage gyms and Body Combat and dill pickles.

Sadly, there are still those who find my blog when they search for “how to get my cat to take rutin.”

It’s always touching to note that there are so many searches for a certain beloved ASU professor from yesteryear.

Most heartening, though, is the fact that there are now search terms concerning panic attacks in Costco. This is new! I’m finding “why do i get panic attacks in costco” to be the most interesting search phrase to bring people to my blog.

I hope that those individuals are heartened, too, when they come here and realize that they’re not alone. There are others out there like them. There might even be a support group for those of us who panic in Costco.

Does Costco know that people have panic attacks in their stores to the point where it’s become a search engine thing? Maybe Costco should investigate the matter. Perhaps they should bring in a feng shui expert. If Costco has a feng shui problem, that could be easily remedied. They just need to know about it. “To Whom It May Concern: Your feng shui is wrong.”

Someone should start a band called “Panic! at the Costco” and do mash-ups of Panic! at the Disco songs and lyrics about Costco.

Maybe it should be me.

At any rate, it’s always interesting to see the kinds of search terms and phrases that bring people to TALC. I write about random topics, so I get a lot of random terms. I like random.