I was thinking of doing a gym updates post, but then I came across a video featuring three gym horror stories – creepy horror, not bad-experience horror – and, well, you know me. Gym? Horror? Hello?

Mr. Nightmare is a YouTube channel on which (allegedly) true stories are told, videos that are basically podcasts with visuals. Ranging from mildly disturbing to downright spooky, all of these stories are disquieting in the sense that the events really happened (let’s trust in this) and that they do happen, or at least can happen.

The channel covers a broad range of situations and scenarios. I would say just stay home and lock up, but as we know from Mr. Nightmare’s “home invasion” and “home alone” videos, we wouldn’t be safe at home, either. Plus, we’d starve, because we couldn’t order food for delivery. Who wants their food with a side of terror?

I scanned through the channel’s video titles and deduced that if you don’t want creepy-ass shit to happen to you, here’s how to avoid it:

• Don’t get a roommate.
• Don’t stay home alone.
• Don’t order food for delivery from Postmates, DoorDash, or any food delivery service.
• Don’t order pizza delivery.
• Don’t be a pizza delivery driver, or any kind of food delivery driver.
• Don’t hitchhike.
• Don’t go to house parties, birthday parties, block parties, or pool parties.
• Don’t celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or the Fourth of July.
• Don’t house-sit, dog-sit, or baby-sit.
• Don’t have neighbors.
• Don’t have or go to sleepovers.
• Don’t date anyone online, enter chat rooms, check your email, or have anything to do with any social media platform.
• Don’t enter basements, playgrounds, attics, crawlspaces, movie theaters, or schools.
• Don’t look in the trash.
• Don’t play hide-and-seek.
• Don’t ride the subway.
• Don’t drive on the highway at night.
• Don’t go hunting, fishing, hiking, or camping.
• Don’t go to the mall.
• Don’t go on spring break.
• Don’t take vacations, field trips, or any kind of trips.
• Don’t get caught in thunderstorms, snowstorms, fire drills, or blackouts.
• Don’t go into the sea.
• Don’t play Pokémon Go, and don’t play with Ouija boards.
• Don’t take an Uber.
• Don’t have an automotive breakdown.
• Don’t go into the swimming pool.
• Don’t enter the Deep Web.
• Don’t watch found footage.
• Don’t lose your phone or your laptop.
• Don’t work the night-shift.
• Don’t go to haunted houses.
• Don’t run into spiders or clowns.
• Don’t go to Walmart.
• Don’t go to the airport.
• Don’t be a trucker.
• Don’t go to the beach.
• Don’t go into the forest.
• Don’t enter abandoned buildings.
• Don’t play sports.
• Don’t join the police force or the boy scouts.
• Don’t buy anything through Craigslist.
• DON’T GO TO THE GYM LATE AT NIGHT, AND DON’T WORK IN ONE LATE AT NIGHT, EITHER.

I watched the aforementioned “3 Disturbing True Horror Gym Stories” video yesterday:

Mr. Nightmare is a binge threat for horror fans, especially. The videos are short. Since they’re like podcast episodes, I like to listen to them while I’m doing mundane tasks around the house… I’ve listened to scary-story podcasts, and Mr. Nightmare’s YouTube channel is better, in my opinion!

Craigslist appears on the channel numerous times – I counted five Craigslist videos, each containing several stories – which brings to mind the lady who dropped by to purchase something (my microwave, if you must know). I think it was last week that I told you how I almost forgot to change out of my Halloween Michael Myers t-shirt before she arrived.

That post prompted a request for a Halloween shirt selfie, and it so happens that I took one the other day! I’d just come in from some wild monsoon winds, so my hair was appropriately insane. I tried to get my expression to look like Michael Myers’. I think I got the mouth part right. Also, can we admire how the knife hilt leads up into my coiling hearts tattoo?

Michael Myers (Halloween) inspired look

The end, my friends. Please to check out Mr. Nightmare on YouTube. You will learn SO much.