1). Notice that the elevator has a name, as evidenced by his name tag:

 

 

2). Christmas is less than two weeks away, and all the Christmas carols are on repeat all over the place. Think of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and replace “Rudoph” and “reindeer” with “Otis” and “elevator.”

Otis the elevator

Had a very shiny nose,

And if you ever saw it,

You would even say it glows.

All of the elevators

Used to laugh and call him names;

They never let poor Otis

Join in elevator games.

 

3). When boarding an elevator full of people, imagine that they’re infected with a lethal airborne virus and challenge yourself to hold your breath until you exit. Do it until you feel like your head’s going to explode or you reach your stop, whichever comes first.

 

4). When you’re waiting for the elevator and someone else gets impatient and starts pounding on the arrow button repeatedly, rather than wincing while imaging the elevator’s revenge (malfunctioning with all of you inside, of course), imagine installing a whoopie cushion noise-maker behind the button so it makes farting sounds when she pounds it.

 

5). When you’re in the elevator with someone taller than you, envision shooting in for a take-down. The element of surprise is on your side.

 

6). If you really need to distract yourself, turn your mind to something even more disturbing than the elevator, such as this informative nature video by zefrank1:

 

 

Duck TMI, I know. What has been seen cannot be unseen, I know. Blame it on Otis.

Happy Friday!