No matter what I do, Callaghan is always in bed before me, and it’s perplexing. Granted, my nighttime routine is a bit more involved than his, but even when I start getting ready long before he does, he’s ready first, and I just have no idea how. It is one those Great Mysteries of Life.

It’s not like I drag my feet, either. I hurry through my routine as much as possible.

The other night, I was SO SURE I was going to be ready for bed first. When I was brushing my teeth, he was just then putting eye drops in his eyes and taking out his contacts. For once, I was ahead! I’m light years ahead, I gloated inwardly… not that it’s a race or anything, of course.

Somehow, he still got to bed before I did, and by the time I got there, he was looking all relaxed, as usual, which flummoxes me even more. It’s as if he’d been waiting there for a while. It doesn’t help that he has a look on his face like he’s swinging in a hammock with a Piña Colada in his hand, whistling and whiling away the time while I’m getting ready. Womp, womp.

Finally, I decided to look at both of our routines in detail to see if I could pinpoint where I’m falling behind. Here they are – they’re roughly sequenced, but you get the general idea:

My Nighttime Routine

1). Take medication.

2). Bring a full glass of water to set on my nightstand.

3). Plug in my phone and set the phone’s alarm for the next morning.

4). Pee.

5). (Sunday and Tuesday nights only) Pack gym bag and set it by the front door.

6). Remove make-up (unless I already took a shower – see #9).

7). Floss.

8). Brush teeth and put in retainers.

9). Take a shower or wash face. (It depends. On gym days and some other days, I take a full shower earlier in the evening or at bedtime. If I don’t take a shower, I just wash my face and then shower in the morning. We’re generally night-showerers, though.)

10). Put on eye cream.

11). Mist face with water.

12). Put on night cream.

13). Pee again.

14). Put on lip balm.

15). Go around the house and turn out whatever lights are on.

16). Drink the water I’d set on the nightstand. (Water does magical things to your skin, so I drink a lot of it, including that all-important bedtime glass for hydration during sleep. I can’t be the only weird person who does this, right?)

COMPARE TO:

Callaghan’s Nighttime Routine 

1). Prepare coffee and set it on a timer for automatic brewing in the morning.

2). Put in eye drops.

3). Remove contacts.

4). Clean contacts and put them back in their case.

5). Floss or use the water-pick (it depends on the day).

6). Brush teeth.

7). Take shower.

And that’s it.

Okay, I’m sure he uses the bathroom at some point before going to bed, too, because who doesn’t? No one enjoys being woken up by a full bladder at 2:30am. I empty mine as much as possible before drinking that last glass of water, and I can coast through a full night of sleep until the alarm goes off.

Anyway, I can see from these written-out routines that a). Callaghan’s routine has half the number of steps than mine, and b). I do a lot of running around as I’m getting ready for bed. Start in the kitchen (meds), then go to the bedroom (water/phone/alarm), then go to the hallway bathroom (remove make-up), then go to the master bathroom (dental routine), then go back to the hallway bathroom (wash face) OR stay in the master bath and take a shower, then go to my office (night moisturizing routine – I do my make-up in that room, so that’s where all that stuff lives), then go back to one of the bathrooms (pee), then go back to the bedroom (lip balm), then go to the front of the house (turn out lights), then go back to the bedroom (crash).

See the difference? MYSTERY SOLVED.

Me:

Kitchen –> bedroom –> hallway bathroom –> master bathroom –> hallway bathroom –> my office –> one of the bathrooms –> bedroom –> living room/dining room –> bedroom.

Callaghan:

Kitchen –> master bathroom –> bedroom.

And I didn’t even include all the extra running around I do after Ronnie James, who, during this whole process, enjoys leading me back and forth between his food area in the kitchen (where he gets special nurturing and kisses while he’s eating) and the master bathroom (where he gets on the sink and asks me to turn on the faucet so he can drink from the running water while getting cuddled. Such are the benefits of being The Wrah-Wrah).

Here’s a handy visual that Callaghan gleefully prepared:

 

 

If I had one of those fitness tracker bracelet things, it would probably show that I clock in 10,000 paces every night, just getting ready for bed. If I had to summarize my nighttime routine in four words, it’d be “racing around the house.” It actually IS a race, and no matter how early I start or how quickly I get ready, I will always lose.

To end on a pleasant note, here’s a picture of me this morning, being happy that it’s FTS Friday:

 

 

Happy Friday, All! =)