Oh My Darling Clementine!

January 1, 2013January 1, 2013That Asian-Looking Chick 4 Comments

We celebrated New Year’s Eve glazed over the Champs-Elysées celebrations on T.V. (and some impressive performances on the France 3 channel, Can-Can dancers and all), and I enjoyed a fresh clementine. Callaghan is not a fan of citrus fruit, so I talked a little bit about the clementine as he watched me peel it.

“See how this clementine’s skin is thin, and it’s tightly wrapped around the fruit?” I asked. He was watching me with keen interest.

“The next time you eat a clementine, give it to me. I will prepare it for you,” he said gravely.

“Okay. You’re so wonderful!”

“Because I want to do something to your clementine.”

I couldn’t resist snatching up my laptop so I could tap out what he’d said. My memory is a joke, plus I was laughing, so there was a good chance I might have forgotten it.

So we had a great New Year’s celebration.

Happy New Year, Everyone! Bonne Année 2013!

EDITED TO ADD: Callaghan just peeled a clementine for me, carefully, with a knife – and he made a matching set of clementine candles for me. So that was what he meant!

A Tale of Two Clowns

December 29, 2012December 29, 2012That Asian-Looking Chick Leave a comment

It’s the week between Christmas and New Year’s, and with my birthday in between, we don’t differentiate between the celebrations. What’s the point? So we celebrate our way up to January 2nd. Social conditioning is a funny thing, though: Last night, Callaghan announced excitedly, “Tomorrow’s the weekend!” As if we haven’t been lying around doing nothing and going nowhere for five days straight.

The fun began on the 23^rd, when we drove down to Nice.

We were on the highway, and I spent the whole time absorbed in Deep Thoughts. The lady in the back seat reminded me of the puppet clown in Saw. She didn’t exactly look like him, but the shape of her face with the position of her round and very pronounced cheekbones gave her enough of a resemblance that I couldn’t resist mentioning it to Callaghan. “Remember the clown in that Rob Zombie movie?” he asked, continuing on the theme, talking about the new generation of clowns. “Completely different from the traditional clowns that were made to look scary.” Our low-toned English couldn’t be heard over the highway noise. The lady and the guy next to her (19-20 years old, long dark hair, goatee) were talking, anyway, totally not paying attention to us. A few minutes later, Callaghan broke into their conversation to ask if they’d ever seen that movie, and lo! The guy unzipped his jacket to reveal a t-shirt featuring that very same obscure Rob Zombie clown! What are the odds? Of all the clowns in the world, I tell you.

France’s organized hitch-hiking system is awesome. You get online and announce where you’re going, and people can set themselves up to catch a ride with you. It’s profitable and fun, and you can end up with the Saw clown and the Rob Zombie clown sitting next to each other in the back seat of your rental car.

Saw clown

Rob Zombie clown

My Birthday!

December 27, 2012December 28, 2012That Asian-Looking Chick 9 Comments

I don’t feel 44 today… maybe because I haven’t hit my proverbial mid-life crisis yet. How does it work? Do I have to wait until I turn 45? That would mean I have a whole year left to plan, which is good because there’s a lot of stuff I can do, and I’ll probably change my mind numerous times. My list will need revisions. On the other hand, I’m kind of impatient; you spend your whole life inching toward this unique opportunity to do things you can get away with because you have this ready-made excuse.

Here’s my mid-life crisis list so far:

-smoke clove cigarettes and contemplate the philosophical ironies of my existence.

-set myself up as a psychic in a small old house. Live upstairs. Work downstairs.

-Adopt an ocelot.

-Make a sex tape with Callaghan.

-Listen to Def Leppard at night in the glow of a blue light bulb.

-Use my martial arts background as a springboard to a venture in mud-wrestling.

-Go the traditional route and buy a fancy sports car, leave my wife for a younger woman and make my kids call her “Mom.”

-Marry a French artist and move to his country, giving up half of what I own and leaving behind everything familiar to me. Start a career as a blogger. Oh, wait….

Joyeux Noël

December 25, 2012December 27, 2012That Asian-Looking Chick 4 Comments

Merry Christmas, everyone! We spent the holidays visiting with family and friends scattered around the French Riviera. The weather was gorgeous. We enjoyed two days of great times and merriment and family drama. (What are holidays without family drama? Incomplete!) Everyone is in good health and doing well, and that’s the most important thing. I hope you can say the same thing about your loved ones.

Here’s some traditional French Christmas cake for you: