Much ado about the usual, but different… (December Favorites!)

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We’re here today because, as usual, I’m compelled to share with you some of the past month’s riches. It’s all quite predictable. A movie. Some streaming series. Foods I’ve been eating with great enjoyment all month. A couple of products I’ll definitely re-purchase.

This month, though, I’m going to start with a person. Maybe I’ll make a habit of this!

1). Favorite Body Pump Bitcher and Moaner: RON.

 

 

This is Ron. Ron does not wish to be photographed in the wild. Ron’s favorite thing to do in Body Pump is bitch and moan. Ron has an answer for everything. When the instructor says “shoulder rolls,” Ron says “CINNAMON ROLLS.” When the instructor says “you can increase your weights,” Ron says “okay, I’ll decrease my weights.” When the instructor says “moving on to the lunge track!” Ron says “You mean the shoulder track. We already did lunges.” Ron loves lunges the MOST! Body Pump instructors everywhere: if Ron turns up in your class (you’ll know it’s him because he’ll be the one bitching and moaning about lunges before class even starts), make sure to do seven tracks of lunges.

(Thank you, Ron. LOL.)

 

2). The Possession of Hannah Grace

 

 

This film in a few words: spooky, dark, claustrophobic, fantastic. Horror fans, you’ll want to see this one. It’s not the demon-possession flick you’re used to seeing. That’s all I’m going to say.

 

3). The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina the Teenage Witch (Netflix)

 

 

We sprang for this series on a whim, and we’re so glad that we did! As Aunt Zelda would say, “HAIL SATAN.”

 

4). The Kominsky Method (Netflix)

 

 

I also recommend this smart series about a pair of longtime friends and Hollywood legends of yore. We found The Kominsky Method to be surprisingly fresh and delightful considering it features a couple of crotchety oldsters. Highly recommend!

 

5). Dumplin’ (Netflix Original Movie)

 

 

Again in a few words: powerful, moving, funny, sharp. We loved this Netflix film, and it’s not of a genre we usually prefer. The film is sorely underrated, in my humble opinion. I found Dumplin’ to be pretty much perfect, and I would see it again. I recommend that you see it, too!

 

6). Tinkyáda Pasta Joy Brown Rice Pasta (spaghetti style). (Vegan and gluten-free)

 

Tinkyada Pasta Joy Brown Rice Pasta (spaghetti)

 

I swear you’d never suspect that this pasta is gluten-free! You must try it to believe it. It’s amazing.

 

7). Victoria Vegan Alfredo Red Pepper Sauce. (Vegan and gluten-free)

 

Victoria Vegan Alfredo Red Pepper Sauce

 

We tried every pasta sauce in Victoria Vegan’s line, and this alfredo red pepper version was our favorite. To be honest, all of the sauces started out well and then disappointed with their slightly bitter aftertastes, but any bitterness at the end of this one melded perfectly with the sauce, itself. Victoria Vegan’s alfredo red pepper sauce is delicious.

 

8). Miyoko’s Organic European Style Cultured Vegan Butter. (Vegan and gluten-free)

 

Miyoko’s Organic European Style Cultured Vegan Butter

 

Earth Balance will always be a staple, but now we have another buttery spread favorite in Miyoko’s Organic European Style Cultured Vegan Butter. It’s so good!

 

9). Vega Protein Snack Bar (Coconut Almond). (Vegan and gluten-free)

 

Vega Protein Snack Bar (coconut almond)

 

Another month, another protein bar, I know. I can’t walk by a vegan protein bar without picking it up. I’ve found a lot of “favorites” in recent months, and I’m still noshing on them all… but this one. This one, guys, is my MOST favorite favorite. I’m borderline obsessed with this bar. I tried a few other flavors in this line, and I found them to be as disgusting as this one is superb. Vega is like that, in general, I’ve noticed. I either hate their products or really, really love them.

 

10). Alba Botanica Hawaiian Body Oil Deep Moisturizing Kukui Nut. (Vegan and cruelty-free)

 

Alba Botanica Hawaiian Body Oil – Deep Moisturizing Kukui Nut

 

Yet another product from Alba Botanica’s Hawaiian line that I adore! My ride-or-die cleansers are still Alba Botanica’s Hawaiian facial cleanser, facial scrub, and plumeria shampoo, and now I’m hooked on their body oil, too. I smooth this on at night, in the shower before I dry off. It’s moisturizing, light, and not the slightest bit greasy.

 

11). The Body Shop Blueberry Body Butter. (Cruelty-free)

 

The Body Shop Blueberry Body Butter

 

This body butter arrived as a free gift with my Black Friday purchases. I’m glad that this was the “surprise” scent they threw in, because I wouldn’t have tried it otherwise! This body butter smells divine. I’ve tried several other body butters from The Body Shop before, and they all smelled delicious, but this one. I’m already almost halfway through the large pot, and it’s only been a month. If The Body Shop expands their blueberry scent into a full product line, I’ll be all in.

 

La fin! Happy Friday Eve, everyone!

 

 

Week 52 fitness self-eval and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

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[Disclaimer: In case you didn’t already know, I’m a huge fitness nerd. Yes, I am. You’ll pick up on this as you read this post.]

On Saturday, I worked out for the last time in 2018. This morning, I worked out for the first time in 2019.

Soreness from Saturday’s workout carried over into the new year, so as far as my body is concerned, there’s no new year. My body doesn’t recognize that one year ended and another began.

Regular fitness as a lifestyle habit makes working out a continuous cycle, week into week, month into month, year into year. There’s no “stop” and “re-set” when the old calendar gets tossed and the new one goes up. Resolving to start a fitness routine and then keeping up with it throughout the year means that another resolution to start working out doesn’t need to be made.

Self-evaluation is a different story, though! It has to be done every once in a while, and year-end is as good a time as any. Today I thumbed back through my fitness notebook to assess my performance over the last 52 weeks, and what did I find? That I missed roughly 30% of my workouts. I’ve earned myself a workout grade of C- for 2018, and just barely. Those are terrible metrics. There’s no excuse for missing so many days. The medical off-days couldn’t be helped, but the holidays/out-of-towns/instructor absences/the like? I could’ve made up for those in order to complete my workout week. I did in some cases, but in most, I did not.

I noticed that I did my home workouts on Monday, Friday, or Sunday mornings. I rarely (if ever) make up a missed evening class with a home workout in the evening; the fact of the matter is that evening workouts don’t fit nicely into the rhythm of my work-at-home life. I’ve known this, but I could really see it as I flipped through my notebook.

My last workout of 2018, then, was awesome. Saturday’s Body Pump instructor ground us through release #108 for the second time. It turned out to be an ass-kicking. I’d noted before that #108 is weight-increase friendly (for me, anyway); I increased a lot of my weights and did the workout with my usual approach, which is to listen to the instructor, do what he says, and be in the music. I liked the pain that followed in the next two days. I got what I went there for.

My first workout of 2019 was wonderful, too. I found myself sweating more than usual this morning, so my efforts must’ve been on point! I actually felt it when my heart-rate went up during the back track. I left the class feeling accomplished.

It was a great workout farewell to 2018 and a great workout welcome to 2019, and those classes are still the best mental escape ever. Everything else gets blocked out in that one hour.

In lieu of a pic relevant to this post, have one of Nenette meeting the Buddha for the first time:

 

Close encounters.

 

Happy New Year, everyone, and good luck with your 2019 fitness records!

 

 

Epic day! I AM YOUR ELDER. (50th birthday post!)

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To start on a strictly materialistic note, the best thing about having a birthday two days after Christmas is that I can ask my husband for an expensive Christmas gift and not feel guilty about it because I can justify it with “it can be for Christmas and my birthday.” Haha!

Much deliberation went down before I finally pulled the trigger and told Callaghan that I wanted a Kindle for Christmas/my birthday… a material request toward my minimalism efforts. I’ll keep the paper books I already have, but I won’t purchase any new ones. That’s the plan, anyway. We’ll see how it goes. As for the sudden appearance of the lighted water fountain Buddha statue in my office, that’s entirely the fault of my friend Jessica. We were at the mall the other day shopping for lingerie (long story), and she told me that she saw the Buddha.

Callaghan got involved, and now the Buddha is here amongst my plants.

So I’m 50 today! I’m knocking on wood as I laugh all the way to the bank of life, because I’ve managed to survive for half a damn century, and I don’t take that for granted. It’s inexplicable, really, as far as I’m concerned. I’m so very grateful.

Some quick thoughts about my shiny new decade:

1). If you’re not 50 yet, I am your elder.

2). “Elder” has always been one of my favorite words.

3). Being a 1st-generation gothling, I’m now an eldergoth.

4). I’m thrilled to have joined my friends already in their 50’s!

5). Still not wearing granny panties.

6). Still haven’t had anything “done.”

7). A mortuary person literally knocked on my door this last year hoping to sell me a cemetery plot. Yesterday, the mortuary called and left a message. Let’s set up a time to plan your estate, he said. My estate? My estate is a desert tortoise, and we have no idea to whom he’ll be bequeathed. I’m not ready to sit down with a mortuary person to discuss the matter of Geronimo’s future, so it’s not going to happen for a while.

8).  I’ve leveled-up into a creative realm I never knew I could reach, and it’s glorious.

9). To round off the list on a sort of side-note: it’s felt strange to be – for the first time ever – older than the First Lady of the United States, but it feels even stranger now that I’m in a decade that starts with a “5” and she’s still in her 40’s. The psychological significance of moving into a new decade is real.

[May I add that the idea of being younger than I am now and married to the current president is just…. To each their own, as the saying goes.]

I stepped outside today to take a sunlit selfie:

 

[obligatory b-day pic – 50th]

…and quickly. My parents are in town, and it’s been eventful, to say the least! I’m practically running out the door as I write this, so I’ll catch you lovely readers on the flip side.

 

 

 

Carried away with the lights

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Merry Christmas from yours truly plus one cyborg husband, a camera-shy cat (not pictured), a hibernating tortoise (not pictured), and a set of visiting parents (never to be pictured)!

 

Christmas 2018

 

Pour les amis Français: Joyeux Noël á tous!

 

 

2018’s going out like a…

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My friends, there’s so much happening right now that I couldn’t begin to get into it even if I was at liberty to do so.

I looked up “Tasmanian devil” before sitting down to this post because I was going to say that 2018 is going out like a Tasmanian devil, but I didn’t find hard evidence that the real Tasmanian devil moves like a tornado blur. Looney Tunes is fake news. I did ascertain that a real Tasmanian devil resembles a cross between a rat and a bulldog. Anyway, 2018 is not going out with lethal ferocity, a set of bear-trap jaws, and a skeleton that looks like a human quadruped with a carnivorous dinosaur skull, so I can’t make that comparison. Also, no part of 2018 resembled a cross between a rat and a bulldog. Or maybe it did.

(Lest you think that I’m dissing Tasmanian devils, I will assert that I find them to be cute and fascinating.)

Suffice it to say that 2018’s going out super-fast. It’s barely visible behind the continuous, glittering fall of confetti it’s tossing into the air all the way to the new year. This is the opposite of what it looks like as it barrels toward January 1st:

 

Nenette napping in her winter sunbeam. (20 Dec. 2018)

 

Happy Friday Eve!

 

 

The lights are much brighter there. (Early New Year’s resolution efforts!)

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With my eye on launching my 2019 New Year’s resolution of “getting my shit together,” I’ve decided to go ahead and make some early efforts.

1). I’m trying to raise my standards for myself and do everything better than I have been. Wrapping gifts, for instance: for the first time in my adult life – I may have mentioned that I’m a late bloomer – I’m trying to do it right, which means the way Mom taught me. This begins with cutting the wrapping paper with a knife instead of with scissors.

Sidenote: The fact that Japanese-Americans keep some Japanese traditions (as do all cultures in the melting pot that’s America) makes for a convenient way to explain why I do things the way I do. When Callaghan asked me what I was doing with a knife, I said, “Mom taught me to cut wrapping paper with a knife. The Japanese cut everything with a knife.” Is this true? I don’t know. I never had to cut paper for origami because the origami paper we used was always pre-cut, but I imagine that if a Japanese person had to cut origami squares, they’d do it with a knife.

I do know that Mom is right. Paper cuts cleaner and more perfectly when you slice it with a knife.

2). I’m trying to stop complaining about local construction. My area is blowing up with continued construction insanity, but with my new mindset, all it means is that I’m in for an adventure every time I go to the gym. The lay of the land looks a little different every other day, and I’ll never know what I’ll run into until I’m there. Adventure is good!

It helps to know that I’m not the only one with this attitude challenge. I got some validation last week from an Uber driver who vented his frustration with the city when the act of getting me to my house turned into a navigational fiasco. We were just going from one part of downtown to another. An Uber driver who crawls the area grumbling about construction obstruction is enough for me to think, good… it’s not just me.

From here on out, I’m not complaining in a serious way, especially since I truly wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. For one thing, the creative energy here is off the hook. The sky is littered with construction cranes in some places, but they’re not disrupting the hum.

 

 

Wow – I’ve never been ready for both Christmas and New Year’s this early in December! How about that.

 

 

Panic! at the Costco

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I used to check my blog search terms on a semi-regular basis, just out of curiosity. Today it occurred to me that I hadn’t done it in a while, so I went to my stats page to take a look. What search terms/phrases are currently leading people to my blog?

People still land here when they search for Asian porn and the Asian chick in Orange is the New Black. They’re now coming here when they search for the “chick in the aflac commercials” (since I wrote about the AFLAC duck, apparently).

Other common draws: Jack Reacher, cruelty-free products, vegan products, and movies. Garage gyms and Body Combat and dill pickles.

Sadly, there are still those who find my blog when they search for “how to get my cat to take rutin.”

It’s always touching to note that there are so many searches for a certain beloved ASU professor from yesteryear.

Most heartening, though, is the fact that there are now search terms concerning panic attacks in Costco. This is new! I’m finding “why do i get panic attacks in costco” to be the most interesting search phrase to bring people to my blog.

I hope that those individuals are heartened, too, when they come here and realize that they’re not alone. There are others out there like them. There might even be a support group for those of us who panic in Costco.

Does Costco know that people have panic attacks in their stores to the point where it’s become a search engine thing? Maybe Costco should investigate the matter. Perhaps they should bring in a feng shui expert. If Costco has a feng shui problem, that could be easily remedied. They just need to know about it. “To Whom It May Concern: Your feng shui is wrong.”

Someone should start a band called “Panic! at the Costco” and do mash-ups of Panic! at the Disco songs and lyrics about Costco.

Maybe it should be me.

At any rate, it’s always interesting to see the kinds of search terms and phrases that bring people to TALC. I write about random topics, so I get a lot of random terms. I like random.

 

 

The ideal Reacher. (Who could be the new Jack Reacher?)

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If you’re a Jack Reacher fan, you’ve probably already heard the news. If you’re not, let me tell you what recently made me jump up and down with proverbial glee: there will be no additional Jack Reacher movies. Instead, we’ll get something better. At some point in the future, we’re going to get a JACK REACHER STREAMING SERIES and TOM CRUISE WILL NOT BE CAST AS REACHER! Because Jack Reacher author Lee Child loves us, and he loves Reacher, and he wants to see screen-Reacher appear as his actual Reacher self as much as we do, I’m thinking. Child has so carefully crafted Reacher and fleshed him out over the years that the Tom-Cruise-as-Reacher news felt like a plunge into an alternate universe the majority of us would never want to visit. And I never did visit. I’m sure I’m not the only Reacher fan who avoided that universe.

I refrained from watching Reacher on the big screen, but now I can look forward to watching him on the little screen, which is the better screen, in my opinion. The little screen is today’s big screen. We’re not in a Golden Age of television… we’re in a Platinum Age of television. Jack Reacher would fit right into our existing catalog of excellent streaming series heroes, and not in Tom Cruise’s shoes.

I first read this announcement on Twitter, and then my friend directed my attention to an article about it (linked above, but here it is again in case you missed it). That was about a month ago, and I’m still ecstatic about it.

Of course, the biggest buzz-worthy aspect of this news is the speculation: who could take on the role of Reacher in the upcoming series? Lee Child would like to hear our thoughts. Child is open to suggestions, he says. (Reportedly.)

Lee Child will probably never see this post, so my chiming in here is for my own amusement more than anything.

My thoughts and opinions:

–The ideal Reacher wouldn’t appear to be congenial in his countenance. Reacher doesn’t go around looking like Mr. Nice Guy. He goes around looking menacing, even though he is a nice guy. He’s nice until you annoy him or otherwise get on his bad side, that is.

–The ideal Reacher wouldn’t have a pretty face with fine bone structure and/or features arranged in a way that makes him conventionally attractive. Lee Child has actually described him as “ugly.” If the new Reacher actor has stock good looks, he should at least have the sort of looks that could be readily roughened/uglied-up in the hair/makeup department.

–Rather than walking into a room and drawing attention with his good looks, the ideal Reacher would exude a low-frequency charisma particularly (maybe only) detectable by women.

–The ideal Reacher would also bring into a room an air of unadulterated badassery. Any glibness on his part would come across as less than amusing, even if his words are amusing (and they often are).

–The ideal Reacher actor would be over six feet tall at the least, and he would weigh somewhere close to (at least) 200 lbs.

I wouldn’t insist that the actor stand at 6′, 5″ or weigh 220 lbs, because I don’t think that would be necessary. He should meet a minimal height requirement of, say, six feet, and he should either be built or have a physique that’s capable of being built. From there, shoe lifts and physical training could make up any deficit, or at least get the actor close to Reacher’s physical description.

–The ideal Reacher actor would have on his resume action-flick experience and a skill set that goes with it, or he should be trainable in this respect. The actor needs to be convincing as a guy who could crush a person’s throat with one hand. He should also know his way around firearms, as Reacher is an ex-MP (military cop) superior with firearms… and he uses them often.

–The ideal Reacher actor would be faceted enough to play a ruthless vigilante who’s theoretically a sociopath, but unquestionably a good guy. Reacher would seem like an easy character to play with his many one-liners and moments of “saying nothing,” but he’s far from one-dimensional. Lee Child created a complex character in Reacher. An ideal Reacher actor would have the ability to transmit Reacher’s character nuances.

With all of the above in mind, I’m going to throw in the names of two well-known actors who may seem unlikely. I’ve seen these guys in action, and their actions suggest Reacher-potential.

  • Hugh Jackman
  • Bradley Cooper

———

1). The case for Bradley Cooper:

I’ll start with Cooper, because I can already hear exclamations of disbelief.

Bradley Cooper may seem too good-looking at first glance, but in my opinion, his prettiness is borderline and nothing the hair/makeup department couldn’t fix. Cooper could be easily unsmoothed over into a guy who looks rugged, weathered, and age-appropriate for Reacher, who I imagine to be anywhere from mid-forties to early-fifties. (Cooper is 43.) The hair people would only have to bleach his hair blond. Cooper already has Reacher’s notable blue eyes.

Any doubts that such a transformation is possible, consider what hair/makeup people did to Charlize Theron for her role in Monster:

 

Left: Charlize Theron. Right: Also Charlize Theron. (“Monster,” 2003)

 

(Charlize also gained weight for the role, of course.)

Bradley Cooper is 6′, 1″. All he would need is three-inch lifts in his shoes.

There’s evidence out there that Cooper’s physique takes well to bulking-up gym regimens.

 

Bradley Cooper in “American Sniper” (2014)

 

(And how about that stone-cold stare?)

His biceps aren’t as big as basketballs, but in my opinion, he looks like he could f*ck someone up fairly efficiently.

Cooper is a talented actor who could bring out Reacher’s character nuances.

Cooper is fluent in French. Reacher’s mother was French. Presumably, Reacher speaks enough French to get by, if he isn’t fluent. Cooper would need no language or accent training for this. Script-writers would be able to deepen the character and add intrigue with snippets of back-story featuring Reacher’s mother. There’s at least one instance in the Reacher canon that has Reacher visiting his mother in Paris.

(The video below is long; just click anywhere in it and listen for a minute.)

 

 

Cooper has a solid action hero credential in his starring role in American Sniper. His performance in the lead role of Chris Kyle earned him a Best Actor Oscar nomination, and it’s actually what brought him to mind when I thought of who might play Reacher.

 

 

Brief synopsis of American Sniper from IMDB: “Navy S.E.A.L. sniper Chris Kyle’s pinpoint accuracy saves countless lives on the battlefield and turns him into a legend. Back home to his wife and kids after four tours of duty, however, Chris finds that it is the war he can’t leave behind.”

Reacher is ex-Army and possesses legendary shooting skills untouchable by mere mortals.

————————-

2). The case for Hugh Jackman:

I have less to say about Hugh Jackman; he’s pretty convincing all on his own, I think. Let’s gloss over him, starting with the fact that Jackman possesses naturally rugged, off-beat looks.

Moving on, although Jackman is Australian, his American accent is perfect. He also has a deeper voice that we know (if we’ve seen any of the Wolverine movies) can be growly.

And Jackman is 6′, 2″. A set of mere two-inch lifts in his shoes would do it.

And Jackman is built and can easily become more built. His biceps aren’t as large as basketballs, either, but keep the bulk and lose just a little bit of the Wolverine-lean? I’d see Reacher in there, for sure.

 

“Wolverine” Hugh Jackman.

 

Hugh Jackman “Wolverine” fight scene (Wolverine vs. Shingen)

 

Hugh Jackman’s fight scenes are vicious, even though we haven’t seen him throw punches as much as we’ve seen him slash at people with bladed fingertips.

There’s no doubt that Jackman can look scary. He can be scary. He’s terribly talented. I think he’d make a great Reacher.

Thank you, Mr. Child, for offering us a Reacher streaming series and an opportunity to make suggestions for the role of Reacher!

 

November Favorites!

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I love sunshine the most, but I’m fond of occasional days like today, too. It’s a moody day, damp, chilly, and gray.

We’ve reached the penumbra of Christmas, and I, for one, am actually feeling calm and ready for it. The high point of Black Friday/Cyber Week for me was scoring a space heater for my parents on a ridiculous sale at Home Depot. You know you’re a grandma at heart when your proudest consumer extravaganza moment is a space heater. It was such a good deal, and we really needed it!

Hopefully this will be the last time we’ll have to think about heating my parents’ room when they visit in the winter, since the A/C guy is coming next month to address the ventilation issue.

Anyway, let’s get right into some of my favorite Little Things from November!

 

1). Book: Past Tense (the new Jack Reacher novel by Lee Child)

 

Past Tense (2018 Jack Reacher novel by Lee Child).

 

Okay, Lee Child’s 2018 Reacher might be one of my favorite Reachers ever. I just really enjoyed this novel. I found it to be deliciously taut, intriguing, and twisted, and I loved the Sumo comparison Child wrote into one of the bad guys!

Incidentally, I’m as thrilled as any Reacher fan that Lee Child is planning a Jack Reacher streaming series… and that Tom Cruise will not be cast as Reacher! It also came to my attention that Child is open to suggestions for Reacher actors! I’m going to dedicate next week Tuesday’s post to my ideas for this.

 

2). Homecoming (Amazon Prime Video)

 

 

In case you didn’t know: Amazon Prime Video released this original series called Homecoming, and it would be well worth your while to check it out if you’re into intrigue, military themes, and Julia Roberts.

 

3). Bodyguard (Netflix)

 

 

Speaking of Reacher, this guy! Richard Madden! A few of his scenes in Bodyguard made me shout “HE IS REACHER.” Not fight scenes, mind you. It was more these little, transitional moments in which the character would reply to someone, move between places, or stand and allow a certain mood to arrange his features in a Reacher-like fashion. It was about attitude and the air about him, I guess… subtle and important qualities. There’s more to Reacher than 6′,5″ and and 220 lbs. Spoiler alert for Tuesday’s TALC post: Madden didn’t make my short list of potential Reacher actors (no pun intended). Dommage.

But I wildly digress. I was going to say that the Netflix series Bodyguard is brilliant, in my opinion, and quite a ride. I’m posting this here with my highest recommendations!

 

4). Get Shorty (Netflix)

 

 

We discovered the series Get Shorty by accident, and what a pleasant, hilarious accident it was. Callaghan and I both prefer this series to the film (1995). The infuriating thing is that we know there’s a season 2 out there, but we can’t figure out how/where to watch it!! Netflix doesn’t have it yet. How’s that for a so-called first world problem? At any rate, you may love this series, too.

 

5). Sprouts Organic Creamy Peanut Butter.

 

Spouts Organic Creamy Peanut Butter

 

I don’t know how any natural (i.e. stir-it-yourself) peanut butter could differ from Laura Scudder’s Old-Fashioned creamy peanut butter, but somehow, Sprouts came up with one that does. Laura Scudder’s brand is good, but Sprouts’ is sublime. It has one ingredient: organic peanuts. Laura Scudder’s brand has peanuts and “less than 1% salt.” Close enough, right? But Sprouts’ creamy pb is easier to mix, its consistency is more indulgent, and its flavor is just perfection. Sorry, Laura Scudder’s. As long as Sprouts is making theirs, I’m never going back.

 

6). Pacific Organic Roasted Garlic Mushroom Lentil Soup.

 

Pacific Organic Roasted Garlic Mushroom Lentil Soup

 

I’ve been sick since November 6 (yes, still sick, as it turns out), so I ate a lot of soup in November. I just wanted it, you know? Most of the time, when I want soup, I’m also not in the mood to make my own. My go-to, ready-made soup is Amy’s lentil or lentil vegetable. My new favorite soup, though, is this one by Pacific. This organic roasted garlic mushroom lentil soup is divine. I don’t think I would’ve discovered it had I not gotten sick, so thank you, forces of the universe.

 

7). Pumpkin Pie Larabar.

 

Pumpkin Pie Larabar

 

Dates, cashews, apples, almonds, pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and ginger. These are the ingredients mashed together to make Larabar’s pumpkin pie bars. The recipe works. These bars were perfect for November… for anytime, but especially for November. Love these!

 

8). Van’s Gluten-Free Original Waffles.

 

Van’s Gluten-Free Original Waffles

 

I discovered that Van’s gluten-free original waffles eaten hot with only butter (Earth Balance, in my case) taste like biscuits! These are wonderful. They’re crispy on the outside, and the inside melts in your mouth. Consider this post to be a Public Service Announcement.

 

9). Bigelow Green Tea Classic.

 

Bigelow Green Tea Classic

 

Another thing that happened in November as a direct result of my illness? I quit drinking coffee. That was a cold day in hell. It must have been. What happened was coffee started to upset my stomach to the point of I can’t do this anymore. Coffee’s never affected me like that! It only took two days of intense nausea and related trips to the bathroom. The first day it happened, I suspected that it was the coffee. The next day, it was obvious that it was the coffee. I started drinking green tea in the morning, instead, and now I’m hooked on early morning green tea.

 

Now for a lone product:

10). Pacifica Hot Vegan Probiotic & Spice Rehab Mask.

 

Pacifica Hot Vegan Probiotic & Spice Rehab Mask

 

I had no expectations when I picked up this daytime mask. Pacifica Hot Vegan Probiotic & Spice Rehab Mask kind of surprised me. I thought it might have a spicy sort of fragrance, but it does not. I thought that it would go on like a gel and feel like a gel, but it doesn’t… it glides over the skin, and it tightens up just a little bit. Just enough to remind you that you’re wearing it. It doesn’t dry into the aggressive, pulling second skin that many masks become the longer you wear them. I leave it on for five minutes longer than suggested, and the tightness of it doesn’t change. My skin glows after I rinse it off. I will be repurchasing this product!

So there we have it for November’s favorite Little Things. Until next time! Happy Friday Eve.

 

 

Back at the gym again. (Fitness update!)

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I worked out over the weekend! It was great. Our Saturday Body Pump instructor happened to choose one of the easier workout releases… one that was awesome to do after being out for a while.

My legs, though!

I expected to feel the workout after having done nothing for a month, but I didn’t expect to feel it only in my legs. I used my warm-up weight for the entire workout, too. Dropping my heaviest bar weight – legs – all the way down to 5 lbs should have benefited my lower body more than anything, but noooooo. (Channeling John Belushi in Saturday Night Live.)

On Sunday, I could hardly walk. Yesterday was the same. This morning, I got up and thought, geez, how could my legs forget completely after just one month of sedentary life?! My legs are acting like they’ve never lifted a thing in their lives. It’s like my legs spent a month chilling on a beach in Rio, and now they’re mad that I yanked them off their lounger and put them back in the gym.

I popped a handful of Advil for the pain before I went to the gym this morning, feeling hopeful because I was walking a little more normally than I had been in the last two days. I was ready for whatever our Tuesday/Thursday instructor would throw at us, which turned out to be release 106.

Then class got underway and I found that I didn’t just yank my legs off a beach lounger in Rio and put them back in the gym on Saturday. I also sent them to an overzealous grocery store butcher who just couldn’t wait to run my quads through their new meat tenderizer.

In class this morning, I could bend my knees slightly. That was it. Those were my squats. My range of motion was basically zero, and the pain was intense despite the Advil.

There was a pretty rad bright side, though: I put more weight on the bar for upper body when I realized that my legs were out of the picture. Doing clean and presses and power presses using only upper body strength revealed that my upper body is stronger than I’d thought it was. My thing about overhead shoulder presses with the bar really is psychosomatic. The back track in release 106 involves a lot of overhead shenanegans, and I had no problem doing it without lower body assistance using a heavier bar than I use for shoulders.

Also, I figured out my Saturday mistake right away: I’d gone as deep as I usually do in the leg track. This was apparently the wrong answer for my first time back.

As for my upper body after being out for a month? Nothing. I’ve felt nothing. As far as my upper body is concerned, it never left the gym. Weird, right?!

I’m so glad to be back.

November Favorites post coming on Thursday!

 

 

The question: The fight. (Mental wellness post.)

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I recently got to thinking about the perception that fighting is equated to violence. What follows here is a train of thought coming from this.

On a few occasions in the past, I’d been taken to task for my verbiage. It’s damaging to be flippant with our word choices, I’d been reminded. This is true, absolutely. I know this, and I appreciate the reminder. At the same time, the expressions I’d used on those occasions… “to fight to the death.” “To slay.” … what do these sorts of expressions mean to me? To vanquish.

Fighting isn’t necessarily violent, but it’s always a struggle. The truth is that we’re always fighting.

We fight constantly in some way or sense, for something, or for someone… or maybe just for ourselves. Perhaps our fight involves grasping for meaning in our current state of being, or in our lives, in general. Even as we meditate in mindful serenity, we know that somewhere inside, we’re fighting our way through an existential crisis. In my opinion, this struggle is simply a part of the human condition.

I don’t know what you’re fighting for, but I know that you’re fighting for something, because you’re human, and you’re alive.

Being alive means that we’re in conflict. Poets and writers are keenly aware that there can be no story, no plot without a conflict. We’re writing for a human audience; being in conflict is an intrinsic fact of being human. Thus, we weave conflict into our stories in order to give them meaning.

We fight all sorts of things: boredom, sleep, traffic, fear, temptation. We fight not to laugh. We fight to keep our mouths shut. We fight back tears. We fight to breathe. We fight for our rights, and we fight cancer.

When we discipline ourselves, it’s a fight. For instance, we discipline ourselves to abide by moderation, or to get ourselves to the gym. Disciplining ourselves to go to the gym is sometimes a fight so tedious, we benefit from arranging to meet with a comrade for mutual encouragement and motivation. It’s helpful and advisable to fight in pairs… to have a partner, a back-up.

We fight with ourselves when trying to start something. We fight with ourselves when trying to quit something.

We fight for our freedom. We fight for “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

We fight injustices. We fight for those who don’t have a voice, or for those whose voices have been silenced.

We have so many fights, we can’t engage in them all. We have to pick the ones worthy of our attention, time, and energy. This is our personal judgement to make, which is, in itself, a fight.

It’s easy to forget that it’s not our place to pick others’ battles for them, and it’s a mistake to judge others for the fights they choose.

But it’s hard, isn’t it? When we feel strongly about something, it’s hard to say nothing when we see others expressing their own, strong feelings… feelings that oppose ours. Then we have to fight to remain civil. This fight within ourselves can be brutal. It’s fight on top of fight, and it’s harder when we know that losing is as easy as winning.

This is unavoidable, and it’s a part of the reason why I seriously contemplated leaving Facebook. All the fighting going on before my eyes over there gets exhausting. It’s not like I’m not also engaged in various fights of my own. Not one amongst us goes around free of conflict.

When combat sports athletes get tired during a fight, they get breaks. A bell rings, they disengage, and they retreat to their corners, where their corner-people are waiting to hydrate them, tend to their wounds, and prop up their morale with forceful yet encouraging words and directives. There’s a referee to stop the fight when things get out of hand… when the fighter can still walk away. It would be great if a bell could ring on social media every once in a while so we can go to our corners and compose ourselves.

A little kindness can go a long way in creating our corners of respite.

 

Growing in the dark

 

We can also breathe a little easier at night knowing that we survived another day. This is a victory. A vanquishing.

 

 

Is Black Friday compatible with minimalism? (Minimalism, post 14.)

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November was a giant black hole in another dimension, and everything fell into it. This is the last week of the month; I thought I’d be back in the gym this week, but shenanigans have ensued since my last post, so I’m still here… until Saturday. I will go back to the gym on Saturday. THIS Saturday. December 1st. My last workout at the gym was on November 3rd. I missed a whole month. See? Black Hole.

Meanwhile, I found out that when Black Friday comes along in the midst of black hole induced cabin fever, one’s minimalism efforts face a challenge. At the height of my gift-shopping adventure, my minimalism efforts for myself were challenged… but not destroyed.

Replacing things rather than piling things onto existing things works. I’m donating more than I’m buying because getting rid of one thing motivates me to give away more. It doesn’t work the other way around – buying something doesn’t motivate me to buy more things. (I look for specific items rather than browse.) Despite my online Black Friday activities, I now own less than I did before Black Friday. Black Friday can be compatible with minimalism!

I just dig a bargain. Outrageous bargains give permission for seasonal recklessness, and I love some occasional recklessness. I love The Body Shop with its amazing vegan/cruelty-free fragrant bath and skincare products. What can I say? I didn’t ask to be a Capricorn with an Aries moon and Taurus rising.

Also, it’s not my fault that The Body Shop created not one, but three limited edition holiday scents this year. I have to try them all, right? So I can know which one(s) to stockpile for the coming year?

In other minimalism updates news, I’m still seriously thinking of doing the unthinkable: getting rid of books. Maybe not all of them, but many of them. A lot of them. I’m overrun with books. A significant pruning is in order. Considering letting go of my books has me thinking about asking Santa for a Kindle, and this is also unthinkable. Who am I anymore?!

Could this be my mid-life crisis? Swapping out paper books for a sliver of aluminum that will confine every book I read? The idea of it makes my blood run cold. You know how a part of the cigarette addiction is behavioral/physical… the need to hold a cigarette between your fingers? I still remember the torture of that from when I quit smoking 25 years ago. I can feel it coming back when I think about no longer physically turning pages when reading a book. The feel of the paper. The cracking of the spine. The dog-earing. The flipping through. The tossing aside when I hate the ending. I love books. I feel an anxiety attack coming on just writing this.

Nah. I probably won’t do it…

 

The Day of All-day Thanks has arrived.

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In a shocking development, today is (American) Thanksgiving.

Why I found this startling, I’m not sure. Did I forget that I was in America? Did I forget that we did not, in fact, board a certain plane going to a certain T-Day destination? Did I forget to be outraged by the fictional and one-sided history around which we glorify the unfortunate beginnings of this holiday?

No, no, and no.

In any case, we’re grateful. We’re grateful, and we can love our loved ones from afar as well as we can up close and in person.

Also, what with our last-minute change of plans and subsequent dearth of foodstuffs in our kitchen, we have decided that no cooking will happen in our house on this revered day of feasting. Our feast will come courtesy of a phone call to the cheap and excellent Thai restaurant down the street, and it will be glorious.

(Perk of living downtown and near the university: inexpensive and really good ethnic food of various cuisines in abundance all around.)

On that note, I wish you all (Americans who celebrate) a very Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Thanksgiving Eve’s moon-rise, moon-filtered on instagram.

 

 

 

Missed Connections Exquisite Corpse.

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In recovery news: I’ve been good! Better. Normal life resumes in a week. We did have to cancel our travel plans for Thanksgiving, unfortunately, but the bright side is that there’s always next year.

The last time I went out was when I stopped by Target after going to the doctor that day I got my rest orders. It was funny… I had to ask a young Target employee a question and then apologize for my low and raspy voice when I realized that I was barely comprehensible. She replied, “That’s okay. Were you screaming at a concert last night?”

I was vaguely pleased that someone would think I’d been screaming at a concert rather than recovering my voice from laryngitis.

Anyway, I wanted to share a poem today, but something different.

I have an old and intermittent habit of browsing Craigslist’s Missed Connections section for its wonderful, quirky lines of poetry left by people who don’t realize that they’re poets. Just scanning the first lines down the entry list reminds me of the Exquisite Corpse exercises we did in my graduate creative writing program.

I thought it would be interesting to put together a little Exquisite Corpse poem authored by strangers who left these first lines on Craigslist. I copied a random line, pasted it in, then quickly scrolled to another line (without thinking of the previous line) and copied it to paste in after the first, and so on. I grouped the lines into couplets, but I changed nothing. I didn’t add or take away punctuation marks or caps. I left the wording alone. All I did was copy, paste, and group the lines in twos.

The result… a poem written by strangers:

Missed Connections Exquisite Corpse

The Cowboy
Tammy plus 20 years ago

I miss our connection
Remember me?

Cowboy in St. John’s…
Noticed each other driving, said what’s up

Guy 58
You were drunk, dressed like a unicorn and hopping on one leg

Spirit Halloween store Salvador Dali
Looking for the DJ from the Freakshow

AZ warrior
Neon on a Friday

At the airport…
back after long summer

The girl with the pink hair
queen creek blonde pink streaks

Looking for girl at Wild Horse Pass
Your car broke down. You used my phone.

 

 

Temporarily grounded. (Non-fitness updates.)

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I titled this post “non-fitness updates” because there’s currently no fitness anything going on around here.

I’m not amused.

Long story short: I caught a virus, it hit me hard, I’m having a tough time shaking it, and bronchitis has joined the party. I’m at high risk for pneumonia. My last workout was last week Monday when I did that garage gym workout. My symptoms kicked in the next day, aka election day. I’ve been out-of-commission sick for nine days, and now my ass has to sit here not working out for another “maybe two and a half weeks” per doctor’s orders.

All of this is related to being medically immunosuppressed. I was blissfully pain-free on methotrexate, but here’s a part of the price! Haha!

Long story long (dry details for anyone interested): The doctor today said that there are several species of crud* ripping through my vicinity, and because of my plaquenil/methotrexate (immunosuppressant) autoimmune cocktail, I’m easy game for them… also, my body will have a hard time fighting any viruses that get into my system.

Yesterday, my rheumatologist put a temporary hold on the methotrexate until I get rid of this virus (while I continue with the plaquenil). Today, a primary care doctor prescribed antibiotics for the bronchitis I’ve developed. The meds should help with my coughing. I have my voice back, but just barely. I’ll take it, though… I was completely speechless with laryngitis on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.

The doctor instructed me to “quarantine” myself for the duration of the illness, which could be up to two and a half weeks. “If you have to go out, you should wear a mask.”

(I’m sure you autoimmune readers can relate to all of this!)

Back to working out, though! I asked the doctor whether I could work out at home. In the parlance of the army, NO-GO. She said that I’m at high risk for pneumonia because of my autoimmune meds, so she doesn’t want me working out at all. She would prefer that I not leave the house. She would prefer that I remain on bed rest.

Is there a way to work out without working out? That’s the fitness question of the century, right? Enough innovators have tried to sell apparatuses that will “do the work for you.” I’m not supposed to get my heart-rate up. Maybe I can do this workout:

 

 

[Thanks for this, Caroline!]

So that’s the update! Stay aware and take all the precautions this winter, everyone! Callaghan caught my virus, of course. Poor guy. Luckily, he’s getting over it.

*”the crud”: 70’s throw-back slang, I guess. I never hear anyone say it anymore. Now we say “the plague,” which is more fun and more specific for infectious illnesses, anyway.

 

 

Good night and good luck, Geronimo. (Desert tortoise update!)

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Let’s talk about Geronimo one last time in 2018!

Geronimo has left the building. I mean, he’s gone into the building. He’s gone into his building. He’s gone into his burrow. He’s gone… for the rest of the year, and for the first few months of next year. Our beloved Sonoran desert tortoise has gone into hibernation. We won’t see him again until April or May.

The last time we saw him was November the 7th.

This is absolutely natural and expected, and it’s uneventful as such. However, I’m a new tortoise mom entering our first hibernation cycle, and as such, the next five months are going to go slowly. I’m not used to having animal babies who leave for five months. I miss him already! He’s spoiled us with his robust energy and affectionate personality, his always wanting to be with us and loving to be hand-fed and getting pets and scritches on his head and neck and under his chin and on the sides of his face and the tip of his nose. He loves human company and he loves to interact, so his absence is palpable.

It was interesting watching him progress to this point… to watch him gently fade away.

He ate with great appetite throughout the summer, growing more voracious as September gave way to October. Our yard – his yard – is a bottomless buffet of grasses, hibiscus flowers, hibiscus leaves, and weeds. He loves it all. He continued eating heartily throughout October, but with the last ten days of the month came cooler nights, and he slowed down with his eating. He hung out in his burrow more, even though daytime temperatures still registered in the 80’s. Sometimes he’d come out and bask in the sun for a little while before going back in.

Toward the end of the first week of November – last week – we’d look in and talk to him as he sat in his burrow. He wouldn’t come out. He sat just inside, toward the entrance, but not down at the bottom. Then we’d see him at the bottom with just his face visible. He’d take a few steps out toward us, then turn around and sit with his back to us.

On November 7, I looked in and saw his little face. He was looking at me. He blinked as I spoke to him, as he seems to do as a way of interacting with us. And that was it. He’s turned the corner at the bottom of his burrow to snuggle in for the winter, completely undetectable.

Here are some pics from mid-October:

 

Making his way up the path to his burrow…

 

Geronimo in the early fall

 

This guy will be so missed during hibernation!

 

It’s a relief that he’s been deemed healthy to hibernate and he can now do his natural thing, but of course I’m wringing my hands just a little. As I said, I’m not used to having animal babies who go away for five months out of the year.

See you next year, Geronimo!

 

 

Cold virus! New Reacher novel! But mainly… (Garage gym workout!)

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It’s a good thing I got this garage gym workout done on Monday, because I woke up sick on Tuesday, and that was the end of my workout week. This particular virus bypassed my nasal passages and went straight for my throat. Whether I go to Body Pump this Saturday remains to be seen… if I’m coughing to the slightest degree, I’ll consider myself contagious and stay home. Gym friends: you’re welcome.

This is the first cold virus I’ve caught in over five years, as the last one was when we were living in France. It’s been even longer since I’ve had a sore throat! Rumor has it that my susceptibility’s increased courtesy of methotrexate. Luckily, the misfortune timed itself perfectly with the release of Lee Child’s new Reacher book, Past Tense, which I’m enjoying immensely. It’s already one of my favorite Reacher novels, and that’s out of Child’s entire (substantial) body of Reacher literature! Incidentally, I love that there’s reference to sumo in one of the fight scenes. I love a lot of things about this novel, but this is a garage gym post, so I’ll leave it at that.

For my first garage gym workout of fall/winter 2018, I kept it simple and followed a Body Combat workout from Les Mills On Demand. It was simple because it was a no-brainer; my favorite thing about a group fitness class is that someone tells you what to do, and you simply do it.

I recorded the workout track by track and crunched most of the sample pics together into frames in the interest of saving space.

Also, apologies for the terrible lighting! I tried to brighten the pics, but there was little payout in the effort. I’m in the shadows and the inadequate golden glow of a light bulb. I had to position myself where I did because I needed the mirror, though I switched directions a few times. I did my post-workout stretching near the open back door, though, so the lighting is better in those pics. I didn’t feel the need to brighten them.

All that said, here’s an idea of what you do in Les Mills Body Combat (cardio kickboxing). I tried to capture screenshots showing a range of the sorts of techniques applied in this high-intensity cardio workout:

 

[punches: jab, cross, hook, uppercut]

[defense: slipping, weaving]

[from Muay Thai: downward elbows]

[cardio/constant movement: dynamic stance, plyo, cross jacks, scissors]

[dynamic balance: repeating round kicks]

(My balance while doing these is terrible, by the way. Working on it.)

 

[from MMA: shoots (wrestling take-downs)]

[propulsion knee to push kick in two separate moves with the same leg]

[roundhouse chamber and kick – sorry about the incomplete kick pic!]

[from Tae Kwan Do/karate: blocks]

[from capoeira: escapes, ginga, front kick from ginga]

[from Tae Kwan Do/karate: back and side kicks]

[post-workout stretching and staring at the camera]

Body Combat is a great cardio workout, and I love the wide representation of martial arts styles integrated into it. I’m still getting acquainted with Les Mills’ On Demand offerings… I’m thinking I might try other LMOD workouts and record them, too.

 

 

No faster month. (October Favorites!)

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This post is going to go as quickly as October. Shenanigans of all flavors abound! So I’m here once again to drop my favorites (of late) in mindless entertainment, vegan junk food, and  a couple of cruelty-free products, because it’s the little things that brighten our little worlds.

To sum up, October was an awesomely creeptastic month, made even better with a bonus good house guest. There’s a lot to be said about good house guests!

Let’s get right into it.

 

1). Bad Times at the El Royale (film)

 

 

We actually found ourselves in the movie theater not zero, not once, but twice in October!

We went to see Bad Times at the El Royale, in which it’s confirmed that Jeff Bridges is more than just The Dude, Jon Hamm is more than just Don Draper, and Chris Hemsworth is more than just a pretty face. Also, Quentin Tarantino isn’t the only one who can pull off a film like this. Good times, not bad times.

 

2). Halloween (2018) (film)

 

 

We also (surprise!) went to see Halloween (2018). If I’m not mistaken, this was the first Halloween film I’ve had the pleasure of catching in a theater. Halloween is my favorite classic horror flick of the slasher variety, so this was a treat. It was like that time I saw AC/DC live after enjoying their music for three decades. At long last, it happened… and it was worth it. Little things, right?

 

3). The Haunting of Hill House (Netflix)

 

 

The Haunting of Hill House: not only the scariest T.V. series we’ve ever seen, but maybe the scariest anything we’ve ever seen on a screen… especially as far as the ghosts. The ghosts of Hill House aren’t cheesy. They often appear casually and without warning, so there’s little in the way of cheap jump-scares. The series is psychologically dense and gorgeous in its visual elements. With an emphasis heavy on the family drama, you sometimes forget that you’re watching a work of horror, which heightens its chilling effect. Basically, if This is Us had a horror genre sister, it would be The Haunting of Hill House.

 

4). Lore (Amazon Prime original series)

 

 

Lore is Amazon Prime’s original horror documentary series. With each episode devoted to a horrific episode in history, Lore amounts to a collection of informative creative nonfiction short stories, each compelling in its production. We’ve enjoyed season 2’s story-telling even more than season one’s. We have two episodes left to go!

 

5). MHz Choice (streaming channel).

 

 

We finished all the Engrenages available on Hulu. Knowing that there was another season (the latest), we went online and did a mad search. How and where could we watch the most recent season of one of our favorite French series? We stumbled upon MHz Choice and added it to our Roku immediately. This is a channel that offers (I believe) international series and films exclusively.

 

6). Olly Protein Bar (Peanut Butter Chocolate).

 

Olly Protein Bar (Peanut Butter Chocolate)

 

Another month, another favorite protein/energy bar. It seems that way, doesn’t it? As with the last few months’, the Olly bar is vegan and gluten-free. At one time not long ago it would have been too sweet for me, but thanks to last month’s Blueberry Bliss Luna Bar discovery, my taste has now gotten accustomed to the fake sweetness of such bars. I’m okay with it. I really like this bar. The Olly bar is actually a cookie, rounded and dense, with a nutritional profile that surpasses that of the KIND breakfast bars I’d listed a couple of months ago (which I still enjoy). I should also add that so far, I only like the peanut butter flavor; I tried out the chocolate coconut Olly bar and loathed it. That’s just me… to each their own.

 

7). Follow Your Heart Dairy-free Parmesan Shredded Cheese Alternative.

 

Follow Your Heart Dairy-free Parmesan Shredded Cheese Alternative

 

I’ve probably talked about this stuff before, but I rediscovered it in October, and I’m still heavy on the kick. Follow Your Heart found a way to replicate shredded fresh Parmesan cheese using plant-based ingredients, and it’s delicious. Lactose intolerant and vegan friends, rejoice!

 

8). Fortune Yakisoba Stir Fry Noodle (Hot and Spicy).

 

Fortune Yakisoba Stir Fry Noodle (Hot and Spicy)

 

This is for sure a “favorites” list repeat; I listed it the first time two years ago. The processed-all-to-hell delicacy managed to vanish shortly thereafter. I was thrilled to find it again in October, cleverly disguised in new packaging. It’s the same as it was… it’s just as delicious, just as spicy, just as vegan, and just as inedible by Callaghan (too spicy-hot for his tolerance level). More for me! Heheh.

 

9). Yes to Superblueberries Skin Recharging cleaning facial wipes.

 

Yes to Superblueberries Skin Recharging cleaning facial wipes

 

The thing about posting a skincare regime post is that I change up my routine frequently, so whatever I’m doing when I post about it usually isn’t exactly what I’m doing several months later. In October, I started using these cleansing wipes in the morning in lieu of washing/exfoliating my face. I wanted to see what would happen if I stopped using water on my face twice a day. I haven’t noticed any adverse effects so far, and I’ve been liking the way the change has simplified my morning routine. These wipes work well for this purpose! They’re full of good stuff. My skin likes them.

 

10). e.l.f. Runway Ready Lip Palette (Berry Bliss).

 

e.l.f. Runway Ready Lip Palette Berry Bliss

 

The bloody kisses lip look I wore in October came from this cruelty-free and vegan palette… I layered the darkest shade over the red shade (third from the right). I love the creamy smoothness of this product. It applies easily, wears well, and feels comfortable. e.l.f. has done it again.

 

There we have it for now… we’re less than a week into November, and I already have a few favorites on deck! Spoiler alert: it’s garage gym season and it’s a sumo month and a few of my favorite MMA fighters are on next week’s UFC card. (Crossing fingers that everyone makes weight and stays on the card.) A solid combat sports month is underway. Let the good times roll, as they say.

 

The End.

Halloween 2018 (+ real horror and scary times).

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Happy (day after) Halloween!

I’m still talking about it, yes. Just today. Halloween decided to happen on a day between blog days, so here we are.

Curiously, we didn’t dress up this year. The most I ended up doing was a lipstick ode to Bloody Kisses (as in the band Type O Negative). That was it. I did the rest of my make-up as I normally do:

 

Bloody Kisses Halloween 2018

 

(The lip product I’m wearing here is one of my favorite new little things, by the way. You’ll see it on the “October Favorites” list I’ll post next week Tuesday. Also, the color you see is the actual color; the pic is raw and untouched, as usual.)

I made it to Body Combat last night against all Halloween traffic odds. It took 50 minutes to get there! No, that’s not a typo! I’d left even earlier than usual, too. I got to the gym late but missed only half of the upper-body warm-up, so that was good.

Back at the house, we had zero trick-or-treaters, which wasn’t surprising; we’ve never had trick-or-treaters on our street. This year was like last year: I bought Halloween candy just in case, Callaghan harvested the ones he likes, and his co-workers get to eat the rest.

We lit candles and continued with The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix. We happened to be on the Halloween episode!

The most deliciously scary thing we’ve watched this week has been The Haunting of Hill House. The ugliest scary thing I overheard this week was an exchange at the courthouse that included this snippet:

Customer: I’m not stupid.

Woman working behind the window: I suggest that you are.

Maybe the spookiest aspect of this exchange was the casual, low-voiced calmness of it. It was chilling how gracious and refined both women sounded in their quiet and measured tones.

I’ve read that cats respond to your voice in accordance with recognition of your tone. You can say heinous things to your cat, and your cat will feel content and loved if you deliver the words in a content and loving voice. This came to mind when I overheard these two women. I detected no aggravation, no aggression, nothing sharp-toned, nothing uttered loudly. No impatience. No snarling. Just the quiet “I’m not stupid.” “I suggest that you are.”

This is a strange moment in time, I thought. In history. It was a warm day and I’d walked to the courthouse, but I couldn’t shake the chill as I left to walk home.

 

 

“The Drain,” “Brother,” “Larry,” and “The Jester” (Short Horror October, post 7)

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In OCTOBER, of all months, my mother-in-law – “Maman” – came from France having never been to the States. She was here for ten days.

Immediately bewildered, suspicious, and dismayed when she saw skeletons, jack o’lanterns, ghosts, and other Halloween figures hither and yon, I remembered my experience living in France: in dramatic comparison to the States, Halloween doesn’t exist there. With Maman visiting, I realized exactly how seriously we Americans take Halloween. We have a lot of popular holidays here, and Halloween is up in the top three.

Halloween in the States is ubiquitous. It’s in your face. At the bank – skulls! The supermarket – more skulls! At the Arizona Territory store – skulls, skulls, skulls! (Garden-variety skulls in addition to Dia de los Muertos skulls.) At Target – forget about it. A good quarter of the store is dedicated to Halloween, including a section of Halloween children’s books about hauntings and creatures of lore.

Poor devout Maman, crossing herself and literally kissing her imaginary rosary crucifix everywhere we went.

 

Target, Halloween 2018

 

Target, Halloween 2018

 

I’m happy to report that skulls did not stop Maman from having a grand time. For one thing, we got her into sumo. This happened by accident, the same way Dad accidentally got us into sumo. Maman sat down with us in front of the T.V. when we were re-watching the highlights from the last Grand Sumo Tournament. Next thing we knew, Maman was on the edge of her seat holding her breath during the bouts to see which wrestler would hit the floor or exit the ring first. She got totally into it. Heheh.*

*My work here is done

Getting on with today’s horror shorts, then, I’ve got a random assortment. This being the last day of our horror short series, and me being loathe to exclude any of the following films, I’m posting all four of them. That’s right – I’m coming at you with 32 minutes of horror on this final day!

1). The Drain is the second of the two films I’d said did not strike me as belonging in the horror genre, but in the horror genre, it is. In any case, The Drain is an exceptionally well-crafted, original short film. I do find it to be psychologically haunting.

 

 

2). Next up: Brother. You knew there had to be at least one Japanese horror story in this series!

 

 

3). Then we have Larry, who teaches us to bring our own electronic devices with us to work. I’ve read that this horror short is being developed into a full-feature film, by the way.

 

 

4). I’m throwing in The Jester especially for Halloween! Moral of this story: clap in appreciation after a jester performs a trick. Jesters like applause.

 

 

Happy Halloween, All (who celebrate)!

“Luna” (Short Horror October, post 6)

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Leaving the gym last night, a friend stopped and pointed at the sky. The full moon could be seen rising above the horizon…  a colossal, intense moon poetically aglow with inner fire and lore. In honor of this year’s Hunter’s Moon – a perfect Halloween moon if I ever saw one – I bring to you the horror short Luna.

The moral of this story: pay attention to the lunar calendar.

 

 

La Fin.

 

 

“Whisper,” “Mama,” and “Mulberry Night” (Short Horror October, post 5)

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We set the alarm for 3:00am this morning, but when it went off, I hadn’t slept. We’d gone to bed at 1:30am. It was like my body knew that I only had an hour and a half, so it said, why bother? We got Maman (mother-in-law) to the airport, came home, and went back to bed. Needless to say, I didn’t make it to the gym. We got up at 8:15am, but my brain wasn’t fully awake for another hour.

Thus, our 10-day house guest stint came to an end. It was a great ten days, I’m happy to conclude! It was over before we knew it.

October, too, will screech to a halt when November comes around next week. The month of horror short films will be over. There are still so many I’d like to share, and hundreds more I haven’t seen yet. My horror short film marathon will continue, but I won’t have an excuse to post my favorites here after the month turns next week.

Today, I bring you three horror shorts equaling 14:00 minutes. Going from shortest to longest, I’ll start with Whisper. It’s exactly two minutes long. Moral of this story: turn off all of your devices before going to bed.

 

 

This next horror short, Mama, so impressed filmmaker Guillermo del Toro that he was inspired to make it into a full feature film. Here, he provides an intro before the short:

 

 

Lastly, we arrive at Mulberry Night, which teaches us absolutely nothing. There’s nothing to learn from this. That’s part of what makes it scary. This could happen to any of us.

 

 

La Fin.

 

 

“Pieces” (Short Horror October, post 4)

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It’s Thursday, and I’m sure of it. Contrary to what I’d said on Facebook, Tuesday was not Friday Eve. My mother-in-law is here for a ten-day visit, and I’m frazzled. I only sometimes know what day it is.

I’m terrible at hosting house guests. I might seem okay from the outside, but on the inside, I’m frantic with the change thrown into my routine. This sort of circumstance reminds me that my routines are actually essential to my mental health. PTSD loves routine. PTSD needs routine.

However, the stress I manage to create for myself when hosting a house guest doesn’t preclude my enjoyment of said guest. My mother-in-law is adorable and endearing. She may sometimes express her motherly love in perplexing ways, but it’s motherly love nonetheless. As challenging as it can be at times, a mother’s love is phenomenal. I’ve spent the week observing it.

Maternal love is a protective love, a force unparalleled.

This brings me to Pieces, a horror short film of the supernatural variety. May I say again that I’m delighted to share these short films with you? This is what creative talent can accomplish: it can bring us important messages through art. I’m hooked on short films. It’s just pleasing when a complete story unfolds and wraps up within a well-paced 15 minutes.

 

 

La Fin.

 

“Recon 6” (Short Horror October, post 3)

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I have a horror-related tidbit to share before presenting today’s horror short film. A part of my brain will be indelibly scarred thanks to Engrenages season 5, episode 2. We watched this episode last night. All I can say is I hope actress Caroline Proust was paid EXTRA for what she had to endure while filming that scene. You could not pay me enough to do it.

You must know? While conducting an apartment search, a plastic bag FULL OF LARGE ROACHES fell onto her head and boiled over. Roaches crawled over the lead investigator from top to bottom, getting into her clothes and running down her back as her partner frantically tried to swat them off of her. We had to see the roaches caught and sticking in her hair. We had to see them piling up on the floor. We had to see close-up shots of roaches all throughout the scene.

I was on the floor hyperventilating and clawing at my eyes with the edge of a scarf as I wanted to watch and NOT WATCH at the same time.

Roaches are the worst of my two phobias, as many of you know, and these were the worst of the worst. These were of the sort that terrorized us during the Great Roachpocalypse of 2016 wherein hundreds (not exaggerating) of huge sewer roaches rose up en masse from our front yard lawn and hovered a few feet above the ground in a gigantic, shimmery, oily, reddish-brown cloud. The insect guy who inadvertently flushed them out took great satisfaction in this result as it exemplified how in the summer, sewer roaches will gather and hide where there’s water (the roaches had been attracted to the drain on the lawn). The lawn’s days were numbered after that. I believe we had it ripped out within two weeks of the incident.

In comparison to all of the above, I have Recon 6 for today’s horror short film October post. It’s one of the two horror shorts on my list that I wouldn’t call “horror.”

Recon 6 offers a fresh take on a very tired subject. If there’s a current “overplayed song” of the horror sub-genres, it would be this one. I used to enjoy it, and I’m still prepared for the worst, but I’ve long since lost interest in watching or reading anything of this sub-genre. That is why Recon 6 so wonderfully surprises me.

 

 

 

It’s actually lovely, judiciously poignant, and even metaphorical, don’t you think? Also, the story has a moral: always carry a handbag with a secure (i.e. zipper) closure.

La Fin.

 

“The Quiet Zone” and “The Smiling Man” (Short Horror October, post 2)

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In a regular cardio kickboxing practice, you sometimes have more to sweat out of your system than others. We usually carry a normal stress-load into the workout, getting to the gym eager to kick and punch the week into smithereens because it just feels so good. At last night’s Body Combat class, though, I wanted to kick and punch it clear into the next century.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with politics and the way the current overall situation has divided even family members. Our political climate is a wrecking ball. Fractures sustained one, two years ago have refused to heal, if not worsened… and it’s hard to imagine how a complete break can ever be mended. When this kind of helplessness builds to fury, you get an extra visceral kickboxing workout. Politics, meet my straight right/cross punch. I’m over it.

I don’t know where this little rant came from. Oh, yes! I was going to say a little something about adrenaline and how it can fire you up, whether it’s slow-burn adrenaline or the kind of adrenaline blast you get when you’re shaken.

Or when you’re trying to escape a killer such as the ones in slasher flicks like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, and their ilk.

I’ve got a good, old-fashioned slasher flick to share with you today.

Never fear: this one’s tame for what it is! Slasher flicks are notorious for their gore, but as promised, there’s very little gore in this excellent film that runs for only eight minutes and 42 seconds. I’m talking about The Quiet Zone.

 

 

To balance things out, this next short-short horror film is supposedly based on a true story… loosely based, I would guess, with the urban legend factor doing the rest. This is 2AM: The Smiling Man.

 

 

On that note, Happy Friday Eve!

“Itsy Bitsy Spiders” (Short Horror October, post 1)

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Last week at Target, a man approached the woman behind me in line and starting talking about vampires.

With childlike wonder, he spoke earnestly of “the undead.” He remembered that in Interview with the Vampire, the vampire thought it would be best to turn the child into a vampire when her mother died. He mused on the psychological implications of being a child vampire, and then he apologized for talking too much about vampires. He explained that it all started with Count Chocula cereal, which is “undead because it’s a chocolate-eating vampire.”

This had to be the best one-sided conversation I’ve ever overheard.

Well! My last post flushed out enthusiasm for horror short films, so for those of you who wanted more, you got it. (Much arm-twisting occurred.) In honor of Halloween season, every TALC blog post in October will include at least one horror short film.

To this end, I’ve had to watch tons of horror shorts. The things I do for you guys. It is, after all, my responsibility to vet the films and to share only those that I enjoy and find impressive in some way. As with all art, this determination is subjective… you may not like what I like.

Please also note:

–I’m only sharing films with no profanity, no nudity, and zero to minimal gore.

–I’ve chosen from sub-genres ranging from psychological horror to fantastical horror to the supernatural and to the psycho killer, though even in the latter, there’s not much in the way of killing.

–There are two films in the bunch that I wouldn’t even say are horror films. They might be a little dark, but they’re much more drama than horror, in my opinion. They’re just excellent, beautiful short films. I’ll indicate those when I post them.

–Whether I share one or two films at a time, I’ll keep the total viewing time to less than 15 minutes. You can watch them in the space of a coffee break.

That said, here’s today’s spooky horror short film: Itsy Bitsy Spiders.  (Moral: encourage your child’s artistic inclinations.)

La Fin.

Getting to the gym. (RANT.)

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[RANT WARNING: Unusual-for-this-space ranting ahead. Turn away now if your negativity tolerance levels are maxed out.]

Driving to and from the gym today, it struck me that it’s official: downtown Tempe is under siege. Gentrification planners cannot be stopped. We’re boxed in by massive construction projects. It seems that there’s one at every intersection. Everywhere I go in my everyday life lies east of our neighborhood, but getting through downtown is insanity… all of the routes I take to reach my destinations are either single-laned or blockaded.

A Whole Foods down the street. A retirement community for university professors. Extravagant lofts, condos, restaurants, retail businesses, office spaces, parking garages, hotels, multi-purpose high-rises, just… development after development.

Historical establishments continue to get hemmed in or pushed out. This is sacrilege.

 

I cherish this pic I took of one of our intersections. This corner will probably be unrecognizable in ten years.

 

I witnessed the beginning of the gentrification surge back in the 2000’s, but now they’ve amped it up. Every week, I get numerous robocalls leaving messages to the effect of “I was driving through your neighborhood and I’m interested in buying your house.” Public meeting and town hall notices have piled up in our stack of non-essential mail. We residents are all invited to attend and “participate.”

My point? GETTING TO THE GYM.

Getting to the gym has become an exercise in frustration, if not occasional futility. I thought they were done with their development projects along the north shore of the lake, but apparently not. I usually drive east along that shore to get to the gym. I’ve tried all alternative routes. There’s no way to avoid the construction zones. Last week, I got pulled over in a moment of confusion and indecision about which way I could go – thinking too many steps ahead when I encountered another blocked road and stopped at the wrong place – and I was cited. I missed Body Pump, and now I have to go to defensive driving school. (Ka-ching!)

I made it to the gym today, though… I left 15 minutes earlier than usual. I’m prepared for “15 minutes earlier” to be “the usual” for a while. That’s fine. I don’t mind leaving early… but I do mind being stressed when trying to get somewhere.

Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for reading. Maybe you can relate… maybe your everyday life is also impacted by urban gentrification. If you’re like me, you love your section of town and you have no intention of leaving. Silver lining: it’s always good to hone one’s adaptation skills. Adaptation, adjustment, and gratitude.

 

I had one foot in October before the month ended, though. (September Favorites!)

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I’m excited about this monthly (September) favorites list, because I’ve got some new stuff for you… “new” as in different than the usual TALC monthly favorites fare.

(Incidentally, I’m also excited to post this list because that means it’s OCTOBER, the most creeptastic month of the year.)

The list is still mostly comprised of T.V. series and movies and food, but I’m also including some short YouTube videos for your viewing pleasure.

These videos make great procrastination material. For me, it’s more than gratuitous time-suckage. It’s brain-cleansing, and it’s actually serious business: when my head’s been submerged in the worlds of my creative endeavors, it’s good to clear it out and forget that on which I’d been focused. This allows me to return to those worlds with fresh eyes. I can then see clearly what oversaturation had concealed.

My recent – and current – tool of choice for brain-cleansing is YouTube. I need simple escapism into the creative worlds of others. My favorite YouTube videos of late are short horror films and videos of this one guy fabricating sharp kitchen knives out of materials such as tin foil, underwear, and jello.

You’ll see. I’ve provided a few of the videos. You can click to watch them right here! Down the rabbit hole with you, too.

Let’s get on with it!

 

1). Searching (film)

 

 

We went to the theater to see this one. Searching is a different sort of thriller, and a different sort of film in the “found footage” genre. What the audience sees on the screen is a movie entirely shown on other screens – computer screens, phones, televisions, surveillance videos, etc. It makes for some solid and unique entertainment regardless of the film’s other merits (or lack thereof). As well, I love a good mystery/thriller.

 

2). Ozark (S2) (Netflix)

 

 

An intense, atmospheric, dark drama/thriller, this Netflix original series is a work of art about which I cannot say enough. Jason Bateman and Laura Linney are superb in their roles – Bateman more than I’d ever seen him in any role, and Linney as per usual. Julia Garner’s performance confirms what we suspected when we saw her in The Americans: she’s an artist with a formidable future. Ozark wants you to binge-watch it, and it’s hard to resist if you have the luxury of time. Breaking Bad fans, here’s your fix.

 

3). American Horror Story: Apocalypse (S8) (TV – FX)

 

 

What can I say? AHS is back, and it’s more twisted than ever… and that’s already saying a lot. Thanks to its mid-September release date, October’s coming in on a delightfully disturbing note. I love it.

 

4). Horror short films (YouTube)

YouTube rabbit hole number one: short horror movies. You’ll run into all the horror movie tropes you expect: jump scares, white dresses, cheesy demons and monsters, tripping and falling while running away, doors that close and then won’t open, gratuitous gore, characters who make maddeningly stupid decisions, etc. I find, though, that these transgressions are often more forgivable in a film that’s less than 15 minutes long. Besides, thanks to their short duration, I know pretty quickly whether I should move on. If I make it through the whole thing and end up not liking it, I only wasted a few minutes of my life compared to two hours wasted during a full-length horror flick that never got better. When these short movies are good, they deliver what you want in horror. They’re tense and tightly-wound because they get straight to the point. Many of them are silent films in that there’s little to no dialogue, which can add to their creepiness. The whole spectrum of the horror genre can be found across the hundreds of these films on YouTube… and they’re free.

Two examples:

 

 

 

 

5). Luna Bar (Blueberry Bliss).

 

Luna Bar Blueberry Bliss

 

I wasn’t sure whether I’d include this bar on my list. It’s too sweet for my taste, but I really like its thin layer of blueberry jam. Moreover, after two test runs, I determined that this bar gets me through a Body Pump workout if for any reason I can’t have a normal breakfast. I guess it’s on the list because of the blueberry jam part and the instant fuel part. If you like blueberries and instant fuel, you might like these.

 

6). Nori – specifically, Kirkland Signature Organic Roasted Seaweed Snack.

 

Kirkland Organic Roasted Seaweed Snack (aka nori)

 

First off, I should say that I have a cousin to thank for my return to eating nori straight out of the bag. Like all Japanese-Americans (with family rooted in Hawaii) I know, I grew up eating this stuff. Mom used to send me this Korean version from Costco, but it’d been a while as I’d turned my salty snack attention elsewhere. I’m back!

These have no nutritional value, but they don’t contain anything detrimental, either. They’re organic and devoid of chemicals. Eating this nori is like eating air. Crispy, salty, seaweedy air.

 

7). Silk Dairy-Free Yogurt Alternative (plain).

 

Silk Dairy-Free Yogurt Alternative (soy, plain)

 

I cycle through yogurt phases, and I’ve been in one since September. This time, it’s this soy yogurt by Silk. I prefer the plain version because it’s the least sweet, but I often top it with granola (see below), which is sweeter. It’s a great combination, though. I love the thick creaminess of this yogurt.

 

8). Bear Naked Granola (V’nilla Almond).

 

Bear Naked Granola V’nilla Almond

 

This lightly sweetened granola is fabulous on the plain Silk soy yogurt. That’s why it’s on this list.

 

9). NYX Slide On Lip Liner (Alluring).

 

NYX Slide On Lip Liner (Alluring)

 

Remember the NYX butter gloss lip (in Ginger Snap) on my July list? This lip liner goes perfectly with it. Just thought I’d share!

 

10). kiwami japan (YouTube channel)

Rabbit hole number two: THIS GUY. This enormously talented guy. This guy can make a knife out of anything. (If you know me, you know that I love knives.) His YouTube channel is called “kiwami japan,” and his videos are awesome, fascinating, and entertaining. I feel obliged to show you a couple of them.

 

Making a knife out of underwear:

 

Making a knife out of tin foil:

 

The End, and have fun.

 

 

Fractions of a doubt.

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Our bathroom project is almost done. What started with the assembly/installation of a new shower ended up morphing into a full-blown re-model. It shouldn’t have taken so long considering that our bathroom is the size of a postage stamp, but, you know, problems.

Putting together our new shower brought out Callaghan’s one frustration with the United States: our non-compliance with the metric system. The only time he rants about the States is when he’s confronted with fractions. He did plenty of ranting over the shower pieces.

“Blame England,” I said, quick to throw England under the bus. (Being French, Callaghan always says that he “only hates half of me”  – the English half. It’s in his genes, he says.)

I get him. I’m American, and I still can’t do fractions. That’s not saying much, though, since the math part of my brain has always been crippled by math anxiety. I remember going to high school rejecting math in academic settings. I just… shall we say… checked out.

How do I know that math anxiety is real? In the army, I made effortless, practical use of trigonometry to cut radio antenna wavelengths based on frequencies. Put me in a MATH CLASSROOM, though, and I’m done. I’m out.

Anyway, when Callaghan came to me waving his arms while announcing, “We’re wasting time! A lot of precious time is being wasted with these… doing of fractions!” I did a quick search for an online fraction calculator. “Shoot,” I said, signaling his cue to recite the fractions he needed to calculate.

He looked at his notes. I waited. I had my fingers set on my numeric keypad. I was expecting to hear the sort of fractional equations I would’ve learned in school had I cared.

He read:

“43 1/2 – 3 1/8, 43 7/16 -2 /16, 43 3/16 – 35/16, and 1 3/4 + 2 3/8.”

To which I said, “What?”

 

[From fractioncalculator dot net]

“Please enter the numerator and denomina – ” Yes. Please and thank you.

Duck-avoiding season. (Mild-mini-rant: annoying commercial.)

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I’m usually not one to complain about commercials. I don’t see too many, for one thing. I only see commercials online, as I don’t watch actual television. For another thing, most commercials are annoying; that’s par for the course. Insurance company AFLAC, though, has come up with several commercials that deserve mention.

They’ve got this duck.

YouTube’s commercial rotation at the moment includes AFLAC’s. If you’re not familiar with these commercials, I envy you.

In case you didn’t know, AFLAC’s commercials currently feature a duck whose gimmick is to appear suddenly near a person who’s minding their own business. To announce his entrance, the duck quacks… but he doesn’t say “quack” like ducks are supposed to say (according to the old guy on the farm). He says: “AFLAC!”

His squawk comes out nasally because the first “A” is pronounced like the “a” in “cat.” The second “A” does, too. The company’s name rhymes with “quack,” which probably inspired the ad campaign that spawned the duck. I’m assuming that the AFLAC! squawk is meant to be a mating call to attract insurance buyers.

I’m not sure what the company’s name means, by the way. I haven’t looked it up. It may be an acronym. Actually, it reminds me of text/internet-speak, like ROTFL. “AFLAC” should stand for Abstain From Loud Annoying Commercials. AFLAC!!!!

I would insert one of the commercials here for your reference, but I’m not that mean.

It’s a hazard, this commercial. I cringe at the idea of this duck every time I click on a YouTube video. My guard is usually down, so I end up scrambling to mute the commercial before it gets to the part with the duck. Each commercial features two duck appearances. In the space of 20 or so seconds, avoiding the duck’s nasally call is my whole mission in life.

Of course, I worsened the situation for myself by sharing my grievance with Callaghan. I should’ve known better. His new favorite way to amuse himself is to squawk AFLAC! in my face. When I asked him (as I was writing this post) how many times the duck says AFLAC! in each commercial, he said, “I don’t know. You have to find one and watch the whole thing… with the sound on.”