An Introvert Dines Out (A Mock Restaurant Review)

There was no “Please Wait to be Seated” sign – it was a “Seat Yourself” kind of place.

I seated myself at a round stone table near the edge of the balcony. The patio was empty, but that detail appealed to me greatly.

There was no server, but I had a cloth bag containing the lunch menu du jour, or, shall we say, du mois: a peanut butter and blackberry jam sandwich (peanut butter: 365 creamy; jam: Kroger’s Just Fruit; bread: Dave’s Killer Blues), which appeared alongside a Ziploc baggie of popcorn (plain, lightly salted). I’d already partaken of an appetizer… the roasted walnut halves and pieces provided a preliminary protein boost. The beverage accompanying the main meal was filtered water on the rocks in a tall, insulated glass.

I’d give it an “A” for atmosphere. In the aftermath of an almost-hurricane, what would have been the third in a string of unusual, late-season tropical storms, the temperature was mild and pleasant, neither hot nor cold, humid nor dry, windy nor stagnant. The sky was clear, bright and blue.

The view was splendiferous.

The view was splendiferous.

My dining companion was a guy on the phone whose French accent I might have pondered had I been paying closer attention to accents. I was more interested in the mundane details of what he was saying – that his vegetable stir-fry was even tastier than it had been the previous day (aromatic leftovers), that the Wrah-Wrah was fine after two asthma attacks (and being extra-cute), that the new Indian deli’s Grand Opening is on the 23rd (free food!), and that a client would incur additional charges for extra technology work (business as usual).

Outside of the conversation, the soundscape featured the periodic splashing of a waterfall on asphalt, and airplanes cruising overhead, descending for landing every five minutes or so. More distant, the sound of people talking and music playing filled in the void that asked for white noise.

It was a good patio-dining experience. I’d give it 4.5 out of 5 stars.

(Alternately titled “I ate a sandwich by myself on the patio, and I enjoyed it” in 331 words.)

Happy Friday, All! =)

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